#29: Do you have a DNF or DNS this year?

Do you have unfinished business? Is there something not yet complete?  I am a finisher.  I like to complete a commitment.  Sometimes this trait has led me to push myself to unreasonable limits, going beyond, just for the feeling of finishing.  

In athletic parlance, a DNF is a ‘Did Not Finish.’  I have previously prided myself on always getting to the finish line in sporting events and always completing projects and things I do at work.  But this year, I have picked up a few DNFs, which would previously have bothered me.  For example, I have a DNF from the Diss Triathlon a few years ago, where multiple punctures meant I travelled to the finish line in the gloom of the broom wagon, a silent dark space in the back of a white van, with three other men in lycra who also should have known better. But this year, for obvious reasons, it is sometimes simply impossible to do what you set out to do.  I am practising letting go.  Does it really matter if the to-do list doesn’t get ticked off?  If something remains unfinished, is that such a bad thing?  Maybe there is a better time for this thing to be done, or a better person to do it.  Letting go can be liberation but it needs practice. Try it yourself and see if it works for you.  It’s OK not to achieve your goals, and if you are aiming high then there will be some things you have not hit, and maybe will not.

But a failure to finish is very different from a failure to start.  So, I picked up a DNS in last year’s Loch Ness Marathon.  Did Not Start.  I had been dreaming of running this marathon, tagged as one of the most scenic in the UK, for years.  Finally, I found myself living near the start and my dream event within reach.  A year of marathon training was thwarted by illness two days ahead of the race.  The 2020 race, of course, didn’t happen either, so I still have the DNS to my name for that event.  But I will eventually start that race.  In my work, there are a few more things yet to start.  I started Dementia Adventure, something I am very glad and proud of beginning.  There is a book or some more writing ahead of me in my next work phase, which I have yet to start.  Do you have something in your life you would like to start?  Looking back, do you wish you had started something years ago when you had the chance?  A DNS is very different from a DNF.  

Overall, it doesn’t really matter how many DNF and DNS you end up with in life so long as you have a winning track record.  Are you winning in life, winning in work?  Is there something you don’t need to finish?  Is there something you need to start?

Need it always be a mountain to climb?

#25: Struggling to remain optimistic yet being positive

“I have found myself struggling to remain optimistic recently.”

“Me too, part of me has a long term sense of impending doom.”

“But I am positive about what we are doing just now to cope and adapt.”

This was the gist of the exchange between two social sector leaders today on a support call.  Both of them had made recent financial investments to expand their organisations in the next year.  Optimism and positivity have some important differences.  One can choose to act positively as a leader in the midst of various challenges.  Positive thinking or a positive mindset can enable us to remain solutions-focused and help our team of people take action with the belief that we can weather this storm and get through this.  

On the other hand, optimism and pessimism are often traits associated with our make up as human beings.  My friend and I are at opposite ends of this spectrum, where I would often describe myself as relentlessly optimistic, my friend is very much on the pessimistic side, often struggling to see how it could possibly work out in the long run.  “How will this all end”, he might say.  Or “I can see no future for us”.  But whilst organisations tend to favour and gravitate towards optimistic leaders they can be just as damaging, or successful, as pessimistic ones.  He is a great leader - and he will often fight harder to take positive action in order to make sure his pessimism doesn’t come true. 

So I am trying to embrace the unfamiliar waves of pessimism where I am struggling to remain optimistic - I am not sure it will be alright in the end.  I remain very much focused on thinking positively and taking positive action each day.  With that in mind, I am off running!  

Stay positive folks! 

#24: Streaking ahead: thoughts on daily repetition

Is there something that you do every day, without fail?  Every day?

A good friend of mine has had the same breakfast, day after day, for many years.  Steve Jobs was famous for wearing the same clothes and for daily repetition, particularly focused on removing unnecessary decisions - i.e. one less thing to worry about.  The prolific blogger Seth Godin publishes something every day and writes powerfully on the rationale and need for daily blogging and writing.  Looking back at my life it appears that I am a bit of a butterfly, attracted by the next flower.  Very rarely have I done the same thing day in day out, favouring instead the pursuit of variety and novelty.  But in recent weeks repetition of daily and weekly practices are slowly becoming the norm in my life.  Importantly, much to my surprise, I am noticing some significant benefits.

I started re-reading The Lydiard Way again about a month ago.  It is possibly one of the best running books ever written from one of the best running coaches.  The first time I read the book, about ten years ago when I got to the training schedules pages which recommended a 7 day a week running plan, even for beginners, I quietly shelved the book and carried on plodding around the fields three days a week. 

But with more time on my hands and having read the book again, I have started going out every day for a run.  I am only on day #22 of what runners describe as a ‘Streak’ - a term to describe running every day without fail, normally for one mile or more.  The most famous streak belongs to Ron Hill whose streak went on for pretty much a lifetime at 19,032 days!  But even at 22 days, I am already finding that my fitness has improved and mentally I am more robust as I know that each day, whatever happens, I will be able to get out and run.  I have had to make some adaptations like increasing yoga sessions, and stretching and massaging my legs in front of the TV, which can look a bit weird.  I have found that the cold water therapy associated with getting in the sea each week in North East Scotland is a perfect ice bath for reducing swollen muscles and joints from lots of mileage.  Rather than struggling to keep up the daily practice, which I previously felt would put too much pressure on myself to run, I now look forward to my run each day. You can follow me on Strava to see the gains I have made in the last three weeks.

It has got me thinking not only about our personal lives, sports and hobbies but the work we do.  Are there things in our work which are like the daily run?  Those tasks which are essentially good for us and good for our organisations but for whatever reason we procrastinate over or delay - possibly in favour of the shiny and bright new idea or novel way of working.  Big goals at work have to be broken down into smaller steps to make them more realistic and manageable.  What better way of achieving them than doing something small every day (a work equivalent to the daily mile) which moves you down the road towards your end goal?  

What could you do every day, that if you continued it day in day out, without fail would make you healthier and happier?  Maybe it is a daily walk or even just sitting outside for ten minutes before starting work.  Not only does daily repetition bring performance benefits, but it also takes away one more decision you need to make and keeps you on track towards living the life you really want.  I have been running 20 years now on and off and am really glad that I have started my running streak but wonder why I never did this before.

How can you streak ahead in life by doing the same thing every day?

#19: Knowing when it is over

Is the end nigh? Current times are characterised by great uncertainties, but don’t be tempted into inertia, being proactive can still make for a happy ending.

Are you unsure if your work, project, business or relationship is over? Take a moment to reflect back on a time when you knew something was over and when it finished. Perhaps you knew, deep down, it was over some time ahead of it actually ending? Or maybe the end came like a hammer blow totally out of the blue? By reflecting on previous endings you can be better prepared this time around.

I like running marathons. Well, to put it more accurately, I enjoy signing up for marathons and I like the finish line. There are numerous hours of hard training and hard miles in the race itself that, to be honest, I don’t always enjoy. The finish line of the marathon is a definitive endpoint. The vast majority of people who sign up to run the London Marathon do indeed finish, regardless of their fitness or training regime. Knowing there is an endpoint to reach, after which you can stop and collect a medal, is enough to keep people going. Whilst running marathons can teach you a lot about yourself, not all situations in work and life have the neat ending we sometimes crave. Often the finish line is frustratingly hidden in the fog of daily life. Understandably there are fears and worries about the impending change.

I was talking with a shop owner the other day, in a retail business on the high street. Her business, like many, is on hold because her customers need close personal contact and interaction before purchasing her products. We were talking about if and when she would re-open again. “I really don’t know if I will have a business to go back to”, she said. So like our friend, if you are contemplating whether something is reaching an end, or whether to put fresh energy into it, try these steps:

1. Sitting it out. Try sitting still, calming and quietening the mind. Probably best to do this outdoors if you can, perhaps in the garden or on a balcony, or if you have a view out of the window.
2. Pose the question. Ask yourself out loud “Is this over?” And wait for an answer to come. Many times, with hindsight, people did intuitively know when something was over. Listening to your inner voice and your own intuition is as good a guide as any in uncertain times.
3. Don’t wait, do something. Whilst it is tempting to wait for the answer to become clear to us, or a magical lottery-winning solution to emerge, don't give in to inertia and do nothing. Be hopeful but be proactive, for example, plan your future framework, clarify your purpose and set new goals.
4. Write down what you need right now and in the future. Write down what you want now and in the future. Pay special attention to anything on both lists.
5. Accept where you are right now. Remind yourself you are doing the best with the information you have to hand.

In a way, my marathons are never really over. As soon as I finish one, briefly pausing to look at the medal, I am planning the next one. I often sign up for another one on the same day as finishing the one I’ve just run.

Runners at the start of another London Marathon in 2019

Times change, new information presents itself, a relationship flourishes again when you thought it had burnt out and new projects and business ideas emerge where you couldn’t see them before.

To a degree, there is a sense that nothing is really over, forever. Just different at different times.

#17: Quick to slow?

I guess I am a slow learner. It took me 17 years to learn to run slower. Pushing it, harder efforts faster-paced runs all seemed the likely answer to the question of how to run faster. It was in 2017 when I finally had the breakthrough with my running training, a year which resulted in me breaking my lifetime personal bests/personal records in every distance from mile to marathon. At the age of 43, I was running faster than at the age of 23. So what was the answer? Running slowly. But not just slowly, really slowly, so slow in fact that it was virtually walking pace. I had embarked on the MAF method, following in the footsteps of Dr Philip Maffetone and the many thousands he has coached and supported to be fitter and healthier. Part of this method involves running whilst keeping your heart rate low, which for me meant a lot of walking. I found this frustrating, not to be running fast, not to be out of breath, not to be exhausted at the end of the run. Running slowly kind of looked a bit awkward too with walkers keeping up with me on their route into town. But week in week out for months I stuck with it. I realised that I was becoming a more consistent runner, was injury-free and was healthy for an extended period. The boom and bust training cycles and associated injuries and illnesses had been replaced by higher mileage slower more effective endurance running. I had lost weight too as my body started burning fat reserves more effectively, which was a bonus. I started getting personal bests in the local parkrun, at the 5K distance, then the half marathon and marathon eventually. All the previous guidance on running faster was geared to just that if you want to run faster then... run fast. But, counterintuitively, the answer to learning to run fast, came from lots and lots of slow running. Running so slow you could identify stones on the beach, birds in the trees and join in conversation with dog walkers. My younger self would not have believed me, but by slowing down everything got easier and faster.

In these turbulent times, how quickly can you slow down? Do you find it easy or difficult operating at a slower pace? Slowing down can bring many benefits, but it often can’t be done in a week or two and we may need to stick with, and commit to keeping, a slower pace for a few months to begin to see the benefits. By slowing down we might just find a method to support us to cope with the challenges of now but also a method that will serve us and our planet well in the longer term. Try it, next time someone tentatively asks “How are you?” - tell them “I am slowing down” and see what emerges.

#12: How to single task and bring a new focus to work

There seems to be a sense of complicitness about busyness. We must have 100 apps on our phones, 10 tabs open on our computers and time management systems to track how busy we are, with ever more complicated colour coded calendars keeping track of the sheer amount of work, hobbies, kids, life admin and all the associated events. How often have you been asked ‘how are you?’ only to answer ‘busy.’ Maybe for a moment, we can delude our egotistical self that we have left this encounter with more status than when we arrived. But telling people we are busy is really just telling the other person that we are unable to focus. But in a world where multi-tasking is both desired and seemingly required in more situations at work and at home how can we go back to one-thing-at-a-time or ‘single-tasking?’

Attitudes precede our habits. If we think that busyness will bring kudos then we may fill our time with repetitive reinforcing behaviours which soon become habits. But perhaps, upon waking in our beds, we can recognise our attitude and give ourselves a chance of changing our habits as soon as we wake. Instead of leaping out of bed and starting with the long busy task list ahead we can simply be in bed for a moment, perhaps a minute, listening to our breath, maybe looking out of the window.

Start the day with a positive question: If I were to do one thing today what would it be? What would be the most critical thing today? What would the one thing be that would bring me joy? What would be the one thing which helps someone else?

Reflection is something that need not take an hour, it can be a moment where we simply sit and ask ourselves a searching question. So, breathe, slow the breath, calm the mind, for a moment and ask yourself - What is my focus for today? Write it down, write one thing down for the morning and one for the afternoon. Turn off the phone, turn off as many other distractions as you can, put up a do not disturb notice if need be, turn off notifications, maybe turn off the computer and go use a pencil and paper. Get it done. Have a break, have lunch. Enjoy lunch. Go for a short walk. Repeat.

A helpful practice for supporting us to address the single task at hand is walking. Try walking a circular 10-minute loop, make it five minutes if you are pushed for time, but try and leave the building, get to some green space (even if it is a tiny pocket park or under a tree) and get some fresh air in your lungs and listen to the birds. 

Walking forces us to take a break, but regular walks are also the simplest thing we can do to break the serious consequences associated with long periods of time sitting down staring at a computer screen. Have you noticed your back aching, your eyes straining? Time for a walking break. Call it a ‘walkshop’ or a ‘walk and talk’ if anyone at work asks why you are heading out, call it ‘time to think’ - you will come back refreshed, the brain will have more oxygen and you will be more productive. But like the other tasks in our lives, focus on the simple act of walking, just walk, don’t set yourself a step goal, try to solve a problem or make a phone call whilst out walking. Use your time walking to practice the habit of single-tasking. Over time, busyness can be replaced with happiness, and being more focused on the important things in our lives can make us realise how much dross we spend our time worrying about.

Take these steps tomorrow and see how it feels to be absorbed in fewer more effective tasks giving them your full attention:

• Stay in bed for an extra minute - start with a change of attitude and give yourself a positive question: What am I going to do today that brings me joy?
• Do that thing - it doesn’t necessarily need to be added to a list, just do it, first chance you get
• Take a break
• Reward yourself with a walk outdoors somewhere in nature
• Ask yourself another positive question: What would be the most important thing to me today?
• Do that thing.
• Repeat.

Doing one or two important things really well each day may be one of the steps on the path to less stress at work and a happier home life.

#1: Teamwork and timing

"Timing!" Robbie shouts at us. I am one of two newbies in a beautiful wooden skiff heading out into the Moray firth on a cold but clear and sunny autumnal morning. Coastal rowing has always appealed to me, ever since seeing the teams on the Thames and coastal crews bobbing about in places like Maldon and Ilfracombe.

To work effectively as a team, in this small boat together, we need to get into a rhythm following the 'stroke' and following the calls from the 'cox' who is getting increasingly frustrated, “Come on! Timing!”  It is easy to get distracted, lose concentration and fall out of pace. But once back in the groove there is silence as each of us focuses on the simple act of rowing, and when we get it right we feel the boat gliding nicely across the water.

In the right context, there is something deeply pleasing about being told what to do.  We all have a need to belong to something and finding your place in an effective team is part of this.  Teams need a leader, maybe not one who shouts, but a leader with a plan who knows which point on the horizon to head towards.  But teams also need leaders who people want to follow. People who are happy to time their focused efforts with the rest of the team.  If you want to know what makes a great leader start by following someone you respect, maybe even go rowing with them, and become a good follower first. I am looking forward to my next trip out with Robbie and the team.