#29: Do you have a DNF or DNS this year?

Do you have unfinished business? Is there something not yet complete?  I am a finisher.  I like to complete a commitment.  Sometimes this trait has led me to push myself to unreasonable limits, going beyond, just for the feeling of finishing.  

In athletic parlance, a DNF is a ‘Did Not Finish.’  I have previously prided myself on always getting to the finish line in sporting events and always completing projects and things I do at work.  But this year, I have picked up a few DNFs, which would previously have bothered me.  For example, I have a DNF from the Diss Triathlon a few years ago, where multiple punctures meant I travelled to the finish line in the gloom of the broom wagon, a silent dark space in the back of a white van, with three other men in lycra who also should have known better. But this year, for obvious reasons, it is sometimes simply impossible to do what you set out to do.  I am practising letting go.  Does it really matter if the to-do list doesn’t get ticked off?  If something remains unfinished, is that such a bad thing?  Maybe there is a better time for this thing to be done, or a better person to do it.  Letting go can be liberation but it needs practice. Try it yourself and see if it works for you.  It’s OK not to achieve your goals, and if you are aiming high then there will be some things you have not hit, and maybe will not.

But a failure to finish is very different from a failure to start.  So, I picked up a DNS in last year’s Loch Ness Marathon.  Did Not Start.  I had been dreaming of running this marathon, tagged as one of the most scenic in the UK, for years.  Finally, I found myself living near the start and my dream event within reach.  A year of marathon training was thwarted by illness two days ahead of the race.  The 2020 race, of course, didn’t happen either, so I still have the DNS to my name for that event.  But I will eventually start that race.  In my work, there are a few more things yet to start.  I started Dementia Adventure, something I am very glad and proud of beginning.  There is a book or some more writing ahead of me in my next work phase, which I have yet to start.  Do you have something in your life you would like to start?  Looking back, do you wish you had started something years ago when you had the chance?  A DNS is very different from a DNF.  

Overall, it doesn’t really matter how many DNF and DNS you end up with in life so long as you have a winning track record.  Are you winning in life, winning in work?  Is there something you don’t need to finish?  Is there something you need to start?

Need it always be a mountain to climb?

#25: Struggling to remain optimistic yet being positive

“I have found myself struggling to remain optimistic recently.”

“Me too, part of me has a long term sense of impending doom.”

“But I am positive about what we are doing just now to cope and adapt.”

This was the gist of the exchange between two social sector leaders today on a support call.  Both of them had made recent financial investments to expand their organisations in the next year.  Optimism and positivity have some important differences.  One can choose to act positively as a leader in the midst of various challenges.  Positive thinking or a positive mindset can enable us to remain solutions-focused and help our team of people take action with the belief that we can weather this storm and get through this.  

On the other hand, optimism and pessimism are often traits associated with our make up as human beings.  My friend and I are at opposite ends of this spectrum, where I would often describe myself as relentlessly optimistic, my friend is very much on the pessimistic side, often struggling to see how it could possibly work out in the long run.  “How will this all end”, he might say.  Or “I can see no future for us”.  But whilst organisations tend to favour and gravitate towards optimistic leaders they can be just as damaging, or successful, as pessimistic ones.  He is a great leader - and he will often fight harder to take positive action in order to make sure his pessimism doesn’t come true. 

So I am trying to embrace the unfamiliar waves of pessimism where I am struggling to remain optimistic - I am not sure it will be alright in the end.  I remain very much focused on thinking positively and taking positive action each day.  With that in mind, I am off running!  

Stay positive folks! 

#24: Streaking ahead: thoughts on daily repetition

Is there something that you do every day, without fail?  Every day?

A good friend of mine has had the same breakfast, day after day, for many years.  Steve Jobs was famous for wearing the same clothes and for daily repetition, particularly focused on removing unnecessary decisions - i.e. one less thing to worry about.  The prolific blogger Seth Godin publishes something every day and writes powerfully on the rationale and need for daily blogging and writing.  Looking back at my life it appears that I am a bit of a butterfly, attracted by the next flower.  Very rarely have I done the same thing day in day out, favouring instead the pursuit of variety and novelty.  But in recent weeks repetition of daily and weekly practices are slowly becoming the norm in my life.  Importantly, much to my surprise, I am noticing some significant benefits.

I started re-reading The Lydiard Way again about a month ago.  It is possibly one of the best running books ever written from one of the best running coaches.  The first time I read the book, about ten years ago when I got to the training schedules pages which recommended a 7 day a week running plan, even for beginners, I quietly shelved the book and carried on plodding around the fields three days a week. 

But with more time on my hands and having read the book again, I have started going out every day for a run.  I am only on day #22 of what runners describe as a ‘Streak’ - a term to describe running every day without fail, normally for one mile or more.  The most famous streak belongs to Ron Hill whose streak went on for pretty much a lifetime at 19,032 days!  But even at 22 days, I am already finding that my fitness has improved and mentally I am more robust as I know that each day, whatever happens, I will be able to get out and run.  I have had to make some adaptations like increasing yoga sessions, and stretching and massaging my legs in front of the TV, which can look a bit weird.  I have found that the cold water therapy associated with getting in the sea each week in North East Scotland is a perfect ice bath for reducing swollen muscles and joints from lots of mileage.  Rather than struggling to keep up the daily practice, which I previously felt would put too much pressure on myself to run, I now look forward to my run each day. You can follow me on Strava to see the gains I have made in the last three weeks.

It has got me thinking not only about our personal lives, sports and hobbies but the work we do.  Are there things in our work which are like the daily run?  Those tasks which are essentially good for us and good for our organisations but for whatever reason we procrastinate over or delay - possibly in favour of the shiny and bright new idea or novel way of working.  Big goals at work have to be broken down into smaller steps to make them more realistic and manageable.  What better way of achieving them than doing something small every day (a work equivalent to the daily mile) which moves you down the road towards your end goal?  

What could you do every day, that if you continued it day in day out, without fail would make you healthier and happier?  Maybe it is a daily walk or even just sitting outside for ten minutes before starting work.  Not only does daily repetition bring performance benefits, but it also takes away one more decision you need to make and keeps you on track towards living the life you really want.  I have been running 20 years now on and off and am really glad that I have started my running streak but wonder why I never did this before.

How can you streak ahead in life by doing the same thing every day?

#19: Knowing when it is over

Is the end nigh? Current times are characterised by great uncertainties, but don’t be tempted into inertia, being proactive can still make for a happy ending.

Are you unsure if your work, project, business or relationship is over? Take a moment to reflect back on a time when you knew something was over and when it finished. Perhaps you knew, deep down, it was over some time ahead of it actually ending? Or maybe the end came like a hammer blow totally out of the blue? By reflecting on previous endings you can be better prepared this time around.

I like running marathons. Well, to put it more accurately, I enjoy signing up for marathons and I like the finish line. There are numerous hours of hard training and hard miles in the race itself that, to be honest, I don’t always enjoy. The finish line of the marathon is a definitive endpoint. The vast majority of people who sign up to run the London Marathon do indeed finish, regardless of their fitness or training regime. Knowing there is an endpoint to reach, after which you can stop and collect a medal, is enough to keep people going. Whilst running marathons can teach you a lot about yourself, not all situations in work and life have the neat ending we sometimes crave. Often the finish line is frustratingly hidden in the fog of daily life. Understandably there are fears and worries about the impending change.

I was talking with a shop owner the other day, in a retail business on the high street. Her business, like many, is on hold because her customers need close personal contact and interaction before purchasing her products. We were talking about if and when she would re-open again. “I really don’t know if I will have a business to go back to”, she said. So like our friend, if you are contemplating whether something is reaching an end, or whether to put fresh energy into it, try these steps:

1. Sitting it out. Try sitting still, calming and quietening the mind. Probably best to do this outdoors if you can, perhaps in the garden or on a balcony, or if you have a view out of the window.
2. Pose the question. Ask yourself out loud “Is this over?” And wait for an answer to come. Many times, with hindsight, people did intuitively know when something was over. Listening to your inner voice and your own intuition is as good a guide as any in uncertain times.
3. Don’t wait, do something. Whilst it is tempting to wait for the answer to become clear to us, or a magical lottery-winning solution to emerge, don't give in to inertia and do nothing. Be hopeful but be proactive, for example, plan your future framework, clarify your purpose and set new goals.
4. Write down what you need right now and in the future. Write down what you want now and in the future. Pay special attention to anything on both lists.
5. Accept where you are right now. Remind yourself you are doing the best with the information you have to hand.

In a way, my marathons are never really over. As soon as I finish one, briefly pausing to look at the medal, I am planning the next one. I often sign up for another one on the same day as finishing the one I’ve just run.

Runners at the start of another London Marathon in 2019

Times change, new information presents itself, a relationship flourishes again when you thought it had burnt out and new projects and business ideas emerge where you couldn’t see them before.

To a degree, there is a sense that nothing is really over, forever. Just different at different times.

#15: My Top Ten Tips for working from home

I first started working from home back in 2006 and can remember one early episode which sharply brought into focus the reality of the challenges that can present. My son Charlie was about a year and a half old at the time and couldn’t understand why his daddy was shutting himself away behind a door. I was on a phone call to the office with my new boss when the screaming started. “Is everything ok?” says my boss. “Yes fine, please ignore the screaming” I replied. “But he does sound very upset.” I had to abandon the call as the concerns, and the screaming, grew. My son was ok after a mummy cuddle, who was also working from home. So, if you now find yourself working from home and trying to cope with the children being kept off school and home from nursery, here are my top ten tips for home working.

1. Dress food feel good - Whilst it is tempting to have endless pyjama days in front of the pc, do try to avoid doing so. I remember my granddad who used to dress in a shirt and tie only to sit in his lounge with only family for visitors. Make a point of dressing well, so you can think well.
2. Get outside for 5 minutes - There is great evidence that just 5 minutes outdoors is enough to lift our mood. Start the day with a 5-minute dose of nature. Step onto your balcony or garden or get out into a green or blue space. Ask yourself “What do I notice?”. Become fascinated and immersed in nature for a few minutes. Repeat after lunch, gentle exercise after eating aiding digestion and at the end of the day, to help create a division between work and home time.
3. 45-minute work chunks - Set yourself a recurring alarm on your phone for 45 minutes. Attention dwindles significantly after this period and staring at a bright computer screen for prolonged periods is detrimental for your eyes too. When the alarm goes off just stop, don't ignore it. Get up and walk around, check your posture, do a few yoga stretches, trust that whatever you are working on will still be there when you sit back down again.
4. Do one thing - Set yourself one thing to do for the morning and one thing to do for the afternoon. For the multitaskers amongst us that might feel too easy but it is important, in the absence of an immediate physical team or boss, that you focus on the really important tasks which need doing. By doing that thing first in the morning you will feel better and form effective work habits.
5. Put things out of reach - It is all too easy to stay seated for extended periods of time, the negative health consequences of which are dire. I leave my stapler and hole puncher upstairs so that I have to go upstairs to go and get them. Getting some much-needed steps and stair exercise each time.
6. Develop a list of mantras - positive self- talk can be helpful to tackle the demon thoughts which might emerge when you are working alone at home. Develop your own mantras, short affirmations you can draw upon “I am great at this”...I can do this...the only way out is through...if you are going through hell, keep going.” 
7. Visualise a good day - when you sit down to start work visualise yourself at the end of the day with key productive tasks completed with satisfaction and ease. Imagining a positive outcome is the first step to that becoming a reality.
8. Spend time with the children or with the dog - there will be times when the children or your pet is demanding attention. Give them the attention, give them a hug, stroke the cat, give them your full attention for five minutes. Tell them you love them. It will make you both feel good.
9. Set up virtual coffee mornings - actively ask colleagues to join you for a video call for no other purpose but to catch up over coffee. Book these in your calendar so that you have regular social contact that would otherwise happen naturally in an office/team space. Actively invest time for social networking support.
10. Turn off the news - Whilst the news is a helpful source of updates during these challenging times, there is a good argument for limiting your access to the news whilst you are working. If you need to find something out about the latest developments you can do this at lunchtime or at the end of the day. Try phoning your parents and get their take on the news. Rationing and limiting your consumption of news will help focus, reduce distractions and help keep things in perspective. If you need some helpful background noise then instead of listening to the radio try peaceful music which is repetitive and calming such as Max Richter’s Sleep album, the RSPB’s Let Nature Sing put on repeat or Gregorian chanting for example. 

And finally, practice gratitude. Be thankful for being able to work from home, for having functioning IT to enable you to communicate easily with others from the safety of your living room, and be thankful for the health of your family. An attitude of gratitude will keep you open to the possibility of the positive - write down three things you are thankful for today.

Stay well and work well.

#12: How to single task and bring a new focus to work

There seems to be a sense of complicitness about busyness. We must have 100 apps on our phones, 10 tabs open on our computers and time management systems to track how busy we are, with ever more complicated colour coded calendars keeping track of the sheer amount of work, hobbies, kids, life admin and all the associated events. How often have you been asked ‘how are you?’ only to answer ‘busy.’ Maybe for a moment, we can delude our egotistical self that we have left this encounter with more status than when we arrived. But telling people we are busy is really just telling the other person that we are unable to focus. But in a world where multi-tasking is both desired and seemingly required in more situations at work and at home how can we go back to one-thing-at-a-time or ‘single-tasking?’

Attitudes precede our habits. If we think that busyness will bring kudos then we may fill our time with repetitive reinforcing behaviours which soon become habits. But perhaps, upon waking in our beds, we can recognise our attitude and give ourselves a chance of changing our habits as soon as we wake. Instead of leaping out of bed and starting with the long busy task list ahead we can simply be in bed for a moment, perhaps a minute, listening to our breath, maybe looking out of the window.

Start the day with a positive question: If I were to do one thing today what would it be? What would be the most critical thing today? What would the one thing be that would bring me joy? What would be the one thing which helps someone else?

Reflection is something that need not take an hour, it can be a moment where we simply sit and ask ourselves a searching question. So, breathe, slow the breath, calm the mind, for a moment and ask yourself - What is my focus for today? Write it down, write one thing down for the morning and one for the afternoon. Turn off the phone, turn off as many other distractions as you can, put up a do not disturb notice if need be, turn off notifications, maybe turn off the computer and go use a pencil and paper. Get it done. Have a break, have lunch. Enjoy lunch. Go for a short walk. Repeat.

A helpful practice for supporting us to address the single task at hand is walking. Try walking a circular 10-minute loop, make it five minutes if you are pushed for time, but try and leave the building, get to some green space (even if it is a tiny pocket park or under a tree) and get some fresh air in your lungs and listen to the birds. 

Walking forces us to take a break, but regular walks are also the simplest thing we can do to break the serious consequences associated with long periods of time sitting down staring at a computer screen. Have you noticed your back aching, your eyes straining? Time for a walking break. Call it a ‘walkshop’ or a ‘walk and talk’ if anyone at work asks why you are heading out, call it ‘time to think’ - you will come back refreshed, the brain will have more oxygen and you will be more productive. But like the other tasks in our lives, focus on the simple act of walking, just walk, don’t set yourself a step goal, try to solve a problem or make a phone call whilst out walking. Use your time walking to practice the habit of single-tasking. Over time, busyness can be replaced with happiness, and being more focused on the important things in our lives can make us realise how much dross we spend our time worrying about.

Take these steps tomorrow and see how it feels to be absorbed in fewer more effective tasks giving them your full attention:

• Stay in bed for an extra minute - start with a change of attitude and give yourself a positive question: What am I going to do today that brings me joy?
• Do that thing - it doesn’t necessarily need to be added to a list, just do it, first chance you get
• Take a break
• Reward yourself with a walk outdoors somewhere in nature
• Ask yourself another positive question: What would be the most important thing to me today?
• Do that thing.
• Repeat.

Doing one or two important things really well each day may be one of the steps on the path to less stress at work and a happier home life.

#8: Little green (& black) books

Review and reflection can be a helpful thing.  Looking back at what you did in the last decade feels important.  Maybe you got married, got a new job, reached a sporting milestone?  But how many of us plan where we will be in ten years time? Putting in an equal amount of time in facing forward to the decade now in front of us is just as crucial.  Planning ten years from now - have you figured out your BeHaveDo?  

What will you be?

What will you have in your life?

What will you be doing?

Ten years is a long time, so be ambitious with your plans. Resolutions are not solutions, with many people running out of energy for their new year’s resolution by mid-January (the 19th apparently). But do review the past year in planning the next ten.




The little green book on the left in the photo above is the original ideas book for Dementia Adventure. I started writing ideas and future plans for Dementia Adventure back in 2005. I started sketching logos, writing down website domains, planning service costs/benefits and looking into marketing options and thinking about who could help me get this idea into reality. Looking back, my first mistake was not to start the organisation sooner, finally having the confidence to get underway in establishing Dementia Adventure in 2009. My second mistake was making it about me, not we. I personally invested a lot of my time, my family’s time and took on the responsibility which could have been better shared from the outset. Don’t try to do it all alone. Dementia Adventure quickly became more successful when there was a we and we made decisions together. By focusing on the cause and on others first, it also makes it more likely that you can make a successful future exit from your organisation, should you need or want to do so.

But over ten years down the line, many of the original ideas in that battered little green book have come into being, with Dementia Adventure now a thriving and successful charity giving people hope, joy and a sense of adventure in their lives. I am glad I started that little green book. Glad I started future-gazing.

In looking at the decade in front of you, ask yourself which people and causes give you ‘endless’ energy? In the search for meaning, try to start with We, not Me. It’s not about you, it’s about the impact we can have on the world. How can you join together, work together, be together with the people and causes which matter to you? Years ago, a lot of importance was placed on your ‘little black book’ - an address book of key contacts, your network literally in a black book which you carried and guarded. I would like to see more ‘little green books’ - books with ideas, books with sketches and dreams imagined and being nurtured to grow. By the way, it does need to be a real notebook in my opinion (virtual notebooks don’t create the same magic) because there is something important that happens in the brain by physically writing and drawing things down.

I have started a new little green book, the one on the right in the photo above. It came as a present from my mentor Ashley Cooke. My new little green book contains some brilliant questions and tools if you, like me, are looking at where you will be in 2030. If you have not already seen it check out my blog #5: Backup 2=1 and 1=0 for more on getting started with long term planning.

See you somewhere amazing in 2030!

#7: Big mountain small steps

Which way are you facing? Where are you heading? How long will it take to get there? 

These are three foundation questions for navigating in the mountains. But how often do we ask ourselves these questions about what we want in our lives? Time is a bendy thing, with a turn of our head a decade has passed and we ponder on “How did I come to be here?” By stopping, looking up and pointing ourselves in the right direction we can head towards our mountain on the horizon. We can achieve a great deal in life if we are focused on bringing about our long term life goals, “Scaling our mountains.” Maybe you have seen this mountain before, you have focused on this future life goal previously but it seems elusive off in the distance. You tell yourself you don’t feel ready to start the journey toward it. When will you be ready? Tomorrow? Next year? We don’t necessarily need lots of life coaching to know what we really want in life, we simply need to sit quietly and ask ourselves “Where am I heading?” Once we are facing in the right direction we simply need to take a step, a tiny step is fine, towards our mountain on the distant horizon. This small step forward might just be the biggest step in your life.

Is there a distant dream you have long coveted, long imagined for your future self? Do you have a mountain on your horizon? As the beginning of a new year approaches take a small step forward today. Enjoy the first steps on this new journey. First steps are exciting and satisfying when we know we are finally heading off in the right direction. I have had a quote re-emerge in my life at different times, the origins of which I am uncertain, which goes along the lines of “Try not to stumble over the rocks at your feet whilst eyeing the distant mountain.” I take this to mean that once underway trust you are on the right path and focus on the small actions which are needed daily. Step by step you will get there.