#35: Reflections from the shore

Nairn beach, 0852, minutes after high tide, 3.6 metres today. The Wagtail seems intrigued by me this morning. Circuling the bench and landing on the grass just 6 foot away. Eyeballing me as he cocks his head. I wonder if he knows it is me again?  The Oystercatchers are also close by, five of them not catching Oysters but getting their long beaks dirty prodding for worms in the damp grass on the links. Windless, bright and sunny today, with ripples out on the firth suggesting the lightest of breezes beyond the shore. Patches of calm water look like boat contrails, sweeping in arcs across the bay. Little energy in the waves now as they sneak up onto the beach unnoticed by the frolicking dogs.  A different swimmer today, fully wetsuited, crawling in the calm conditions, ice cream face. A different world beneath the surface just a cold breathe away.

#34: Reflections from the shore

Nairn beach, 0853, an hour and a half after high tide. The fisherman is already on his way back, his headlights and dark silhouette looking like cats eyes on the flat grey firth. A cold water swimmer, David probably, slowly breastroking away the day. A paddle boarder heading West into where the water is silvery blue, a satsuma orange hint in the foreshore still left over from the ever later sunrises. A large honking skein of geese go over head. Threads of wool wiggling in the sky, the final skein in perfect V formation. The pied wagtail closer today, close enough to see the pale yellow of his face. No waves today the firth shimmering like crinkled tin foil. Snow now on Ben Wyvis, but still not cold yet in Nairn. More geese, and yet more geese. Something deeply satisfying and habitual about migratory geese in such times of uncertainty and change.

#33: Reflections from the shore

Nairn Beach, 0854. An hour or so after low tide the green clad rocks exposed on the beach, with their endlessly fascinating rockpools waiting to be explored. The end of the groyne visible next to a large, still wet from the falling tide, expanse of sand. A dull reflective glow on the wet beach. Shipping forecast says gales today, except in Biscay. A southwesterly means we only have drizzle so far in Nairn this morning.  Out on the firth some of the giant industry of the oil rigs hovers on the horizon, transporting tall metalwork legs aboard a boat which looks like an old four masted pirate ship as it merges with the mist. An Oystercatcher pipes as it hurriedly flies past, close to my bench. A red beak flashing against it's black and white stripes. Amid the clouds across the firth a near vertical rainbow emerges from the dark clouds over Cromarty, hinting at sunken treasure out at sea. Strikingly bright colours of nature set against the dark skies. Rainbows of hope. 

#32: Reflections from the shore

Nairn beach, 0915. Rising tide, not high until 1243. Lots of new sand deposited up the beach. Pebbles moved into mini stone crescents by the fullness of recent tides. The swell rushing South Eastward, gulls effortlessly gliding at speed toward the harbour. The waves by the groyne today very semi-circular, like a Spanish flamenco fan, their edges lit up towards the East beach. The lighthouse and the old bar beyond. A flock of Knots wheel and dance together, maybe 30 birds, twisting and turning together in the sun by the harbour wall. A dozen Oystercatchers chatting to each other as they head inland over the trees on the links.  All the leaves of the links now dropped, lifeless brown with dark spots, tumbling along in the breeze. Like the pebbles eventually gathering together in their windless pockets, knee deep in places. Just one boat on the water this morning, faded in the light and mist toward the Black isle. 

#31: Reflections from the shore

Nairn beach, 8:57. A rising tide, with still over an hour to go the water level is already where it was this time yesterday, high up the beach. Tide tables say the height will be 4.3 metres but no waves are crashing against the prom today. The Firth gently moves, reminding me of Farrow & Ball grey, much like the sky.  Just two boats out on the water, parked outside the entrance to Cromarty firth across the way.  Beyond the boats a patch of blue sky above the Black isle. Quiet. Even the gulls are quiet this morning.  I think I will sit for a while. Pied wagtail bouncing close by my bench, joyous little thing.

#30: Reflections from the shore

Nairn beach, 0858. High tide. Two rowing skiffs out bobbing on the swell heading gently East. Julian strolling into the sea in just his shorts, embracing the 9 degree sea and starting his slow front crawl along the beach, headed west.  The distant piping of the Oystercatcher in between the lapping waves high up on the shingle, the groyne two thirds submerged. The lobster pot fisherman is out replacing the creels, no doubt. Low clouds cling to the top of the Soutars with a glint of sun on Cromarty across the firth. Dogs excitedly greet each other on the slither of beach. Owners do the same. 

#29: Do you have a DNF or DNS this year?

Do you have unfinished business? Is there something not yet complete?  I am a finisher.  I like to complete a commitment.  Sometimes this trait has led me to push myself to unreasonable limits, going beyond, just for the feeling of finishing.  

In athletic parlance, a DNF is a ‘Did Not Finish.’  I have previously prided myself on always getting to the finish line in sporting events and always completing projects and things I do at work.  But this year, I have picked up a few DNFs, which would previously have bothered me.  For example, I have a DNF from the Diss Triathlon a few years ago, where multiple punctures meant I travelled to the finish line in the gloom of the broom wagon, a silent dark space in the back of a white van, with three other men in lycra who also should have known better. But this year, for obvious reasons, it is sometimes simply impossible to do what you set out to do.  I am practising letting go.  Does it really matter if the to-do list doesn’t get ticked off?  If something remains unfinished, is that such a bad thing?  Maybe there is a better time for this thing to be done, or a better person to do it.  Letting go can be liberation but it needs practice. Try it yourself and see if it works for you.  It’s OK not to achieve your goals, and if you are aiming high then there will be some things you have not hit, and maybe will not.

But a failure to finish is very different from a failure to start.  So, I picked up a DNS in last year’s Loch Ness Marathon.  Did Not Start.  I had been dreaming of running this marathon, tagged as one of the most scenic in the UK, for years.  Finally, I found myself living near the start and my dream event within reach.  A year of marathon training was thwarted by illness two days ahead of the race.  The 2020 race, of course, didn’t happen either, so I still have the DNS to my name for that event.  But I will eventually start that race.  In my work, there are a few more things yet to start.  I started Dementia Adventure, something I am very glad and proud of beginning.  There is a book or some more writing ahead of me in my next work phase, which I have yet to start.  Do you have something in your life you would like to start?  Looking back, do you wish you had started something years ago when you had the chance?  A DNS is very different from a DNF.  

Overall, it doesn’t really matter how many DNF and DNS you end up with in life so long as you have a winning track record.  Are you winning in life, winning in work?  Is there something you don’t need to finish?  Is there something you need to start?

Need it always be a mountain to climb?

#28: Bellicosity has no place in our city

I was on the back seat of a bus in some distant corner of the Amazon jungle in Peru when I first came across the word Bellicose.  The diminutive native Peruvian sitting next to me had become intrigued about my presence on the bus and where I was from.  Upon telling him I was from Inglaterra his words were short and so was the rest of the conversation muy belicoso.  Very war-like. 

I have never agreed with the war-like language so often used to refer to illnesses and health conditions, the latest pandemic being an example.  There are numerous examples of bellicose language - in that people are said to be ‘battling, fighting’ dementia for example and hopefully ‘defeating’ in the case of some cancers.  Politicians and public health policy often slip into war-like language such as ‘winning the battle against the invisible enemy.’ These negative words will no longer do when what we are needing is positive directions. War-like words do not serve us in our search for positivity.

Thankfully, in health care settings the more positive phrase ‘living with’ has become more dominant in recent years than its awful predecessor ‘suffering’.  An illness, dementia or cancer, for example, does not define who I am.  Nor should COVID define who we are, yet it is something we are living with.  Like dementia or cancer, it is something which has come into our lives unbeckoned.  In the face of such adversity or challenge, we would be better placed to talk of kindness, compassion and thinking of helping others first.  Helping people see the opportunities as well as the challenges which still exist ahead.

Let us not talk or refer to war out of its rightful context and instead turn our full attention to finding hope, kindness and positivity.  We can all lead the change in how we talk our way through this together.

#27: Nairn a Ten-minute town

In the recent holiday period, Nairn has received a fair number of visitors.  Whilst the increase in people on the beach and in the town has brought some increased anxiety for some, it has been great to see so many families enjoying traditional time on the beach and in the sea.  An increasing number of these visitors are either dreaming of living in Nairn (recent comment overheard on the beach ‘imagine living here’ as reported on Nairn Rocks) or are visiting with property searches in mind. Scotland’s house prices reached record highs this month according to Rightmove which has seen its busiest month for sales in a decade. With home working now becoming the longer-term work mode for so many people there is an increase in interest for housing from those seeking a ‘lifestyle change.’  Unsurprisingly those from south of Birmingham and within the commuter belt of London are driving much of this interest. Do read my previous blog post #14 if you are thinking of moving to a remote corner of Scotland which outlines how our family decided on Nairn as our new home.

There are a variety of models emerging through the lockdown period which encourage us to maintain thinking about how we can live, work and shop locally.  In Melbourne, Australia they are developing 20-minute neighbourhoods, an article in the FT recently spoke about 15-minute cities.  We had a friend up visiting from Essex recently looking to retire to Nairn.  One of the common selling points we often find ourselves saying in support of Nairn is that ‘everything you could need is within ten minutes walk or cycle’.  As we all look to build on environmental progress towards carbon-neutral towns and cities it is likely that we are going to see a resurgence in ten-minute towns like Nairn.

What makes a good ten-minute town?  Services and quality of life within ten minutes from the home that doesn’t involve getting in a car.  For example, a good ten-minute town, like Nairn, would have:

• Healthcare facilities 

• Work and employment opportunities

• Schools and care homes

• Shops, pubs and restaurants

• Entertainment and sporting clubs

• Places of worship

• Pocket parks, blue spaces and green spaces linked as nature corridors across the town

• Bus and train stations and stops for accessing places further afield

In Nairn, you have all of these plus the fresh sea air and a sense of peace and quiet that can be quickly obtained from just a few minutes listening to the waves on the miles of sandy beaches.  But far from being the perfect place Nairn still has a lot to do to win a gold standard for the ten-minute town.  There is an investment needed in infrastructure which prioritises walking and cycling - an obvious missing business in the town is a bike hire & maintenance shop.  Whilst the river and beaches are stunning there could be more spaces for nature to move around the town through green corridors.  And there are too many High street shops empty which could become new social businesses or much-needed housing and multi-use sites.  Many of us have recently appreciated just how important the services and quality of life is local to home.  Ten-minute towns like Nairn just might start to flourish again.

#26: TEDx - Thinking Differently about Dementia - Neil Mapes

A few months ago I had the pleasure, whilst CEO of Dementia Adventure, of delivering a TEDx talk called Thinking Differently about Dementia.  It is a simple idea which I hope you will support me to spread. Dementia Adventure, an organisation I am extremely proud to have founded with Lucy Harding needs all of our ongoing support to enable more people with dementia to have both small and big experiences safely outdoors.  If you know someone with dementia in your friend or family network please share this TEDx talk with them, it is my personal and heartfelt explanation of how to think and act differently drawing on nature and the outdoors.

Please consider watching and sharing my TEDx talk here

Please consider supporting and sharing the work of Dementia Adventure.

Thank you for your support, stay safe and well :)

#25: Struggling to remain optimistic yet being positive

“I have found myself struggling to remain optimistic recently.”

“Me too, part of me has a long term sense of impending doom.”

“But I am positive about what we are doing just now to cope and adapt.”

This was the gist of the exchange between two social sector leaders today on a support call.  Both of them had made recent financial investments to expand their organisations in the next year.  Optimism and positivity have some important differences.  One can choose to act positively as a leader in the midst of various challenges.  Positive thinking or a positive mindset can enable us to remain solutions-focused and help our team of people take action with the belief that we can weather this storm and get through this.  

On the other hand, optimism and pessimism are often traits associated with our make up as human beings.  My friend and I are at opposite ends of this spectrum, where I would often describe myself as relentlessly optimistic, my friend is very much on the pessimistic side, often struggling to see how it could possibly work out in the long run.  “How will this all end”, he might say.  Or “I can see no future for us”.  But whilst organisations tend to favour and gravitate towards optimistic leaders they can be just as damaging, or successful, as pessimistic ones.  He is a great leader - and he will often fight harder to take positive action in order to make sure his pessimism doesn’t come true. 

So I am trying to embrace the unfamiliar waves of pessimism where I am struggling to remain optimistic - I am not sure it will be alright in the end.  I remain very much focused on thinking positively and taking positive action each day.  With that in mind, I am off running!  

Stay positive folks! 

#24: Streaking ahead: thoughts on daily repetition

Is there something that you do every day, without fail?  Every day?

A good friend of mine has had the same breakfast, day after day, for many years.  Steve Jobs was famous for wearing the same clothes and for daily repetition, particularly focused on removing unnecessary decisions - i.e. one less thing to worry about.  The prolific blogger Seth Godin publishes something every day and writes powerfully on the rationale and need for daily blogging and writing.  Looking back at my life it appears that I am a bit of a butterfly, attracted by the next flower.  Very rarely have I done the same thing day in day out, favouring instead the pursuit of variety and novelty.  But in recent weeks repetition of daily and weekly practices are slowly becoming the norm in my life.  Importantly, much to my surprise, I am noticing some significant benefits.

I started re-reading The Lydiard Way again about a month ago.  It is possibly one of the best running books ever written from one of the best running coaches.  The first time I read the book, about ten years ago when I got to the training schedules pages which recommended a 7 day a week running plan, even for beginners, I quietly shelved the book and carried on plodding around the fields three days a week. 

But with more time on my hands and having read the book again, I have started going out every day for a run.  I am only on day #22 of what runners describe as a ‘Streak’ - a term to describe running every day without fail, normally for one mile or more.  The most famous streak belongs to Ron Hill whose streak went on for pretty much a lifetime at 19,032 days!  But even at 22 days, I am already finding that my fitness has improved and mentally I am more robust as I know that each day, whatever happens, I will be able to get out and run.  I have had to make some adaptations like increasing yoga sessions, and stretching and massaging my legs in front of the TV, which can look a bit weird.  I have found that the cold water therapy associated with getting in the sea each week in North East Scotland is a perfect ice bath for reducing swollen muscles and joints from lots of mileage.  Rather than struggling to keep up the daily practice, which I previously felt would put too much pressure on myself to run, I now look forward to my run each day. You can follow me on Strava to see the gains I have made in the last three weeks.

It has got me thinking not only about our personal lives, sports and hobbies but the work we do.  Are there things in our work which are like the daily run?  Those tasks which are essentially good for us and good for our organisations but for whatever reason we procrastinate over or delay - possibly in favour of the shiny and bright new idea or novel way of working.  Big goals at work have to be broken down into smaller steps to make them more realistic and manageable.  What better way of achieving them than doing something small every day (a work equivalent to the daily mile) which moves you down the road towards your end goal?  

What could you do every day, that if you continued it day in day out, without fail would make you healthier and happier?  Maybe it is a daily walk or even just sitting outside for ten minutes before starting work.  Not only does daily repetition bring performance benefits, but it also takes away one more decision you need to make and keeps you on track towards living the life you really want.  I have been running 20 years now on and off and am really glad that I have started my running streak but wonder why I never did this before.

How can you streak ahead in life by doing the same thing every day?

#23: Time and Tide

I am in the extremely fortunate position of living near Nairn beach, arguably one of the best in Scotland.  During lockdown I have been making a point of taking a daily stroll down to the sea, just to watch the water.  Since moving to the coast I have become increasingly aware of and fascinated by the tide and its effect on my local beach - and its effect on me.  

Tides are part of our island narrative with perhaps the most well-known proverb being “time and tide wait for no man (or woman)” - meaning that when a favourable opportunity presents itself you would be wise to take it, in case you don’t get such a good chance again.  Looking back at your life - were there opportunities you wished you had jumped at?  Were there opportunities when the tide was high, the sun was shining and a light breeze blowing but for whatever reason, you decided to stay on the shore?  Maybe you were waiting for the conditions to be too perfect or were simply not feeling able or ready to confront the risks associated with the new opportunity.  When the time and tide are right it is important to take your opportunity.  Whilst there are many problems and challenges ahead of us all just now, there will also be opportunities and it is important that when they come we grab them with both hands.

The tides are also one of the few things in modern life which can not be reduced to ones and zeros.  The Natural Navigator, Tristan Gooley, has written widely about tides and tells us that “there is not a machine in the world that can accurately predict tides at a new location without the assistance of human observation.” In observing the tides at Nairn, there are very high tides where seaweed is washed up onto the golf course and very low tides where the sea disappears beyond the pier and lighthouse.  The beach can be full of sand one week and full of stones the next.  Seeing it every day, with a slower pace to life recently, I am finding great comfort in the regular nature of the tide.  Change happens every day.  The height of the tide and its direction of flow are determined by the Earth, moon, sun and time, fundamental forces in our universe.  As the sun starts setting ever northwards and the days continue to get longer at this latitude, I find great reassurance from feeling like a tiny pebble on the beach, waiting for the high tide to take me off on my next adventure.

#22: Green Hive receives Queen’s Award

I became the manager of Green Hive just a few weeks ago and am over the moon to share the news that our volunteers have been honoured with the Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service, the highest award a voluntary group can receive in the UK.  What a way to celebrate my first few weeks in the post! Regular readers of this blog will recall my previous blog post #13 which explained more about Green Hive in relation to #futureframeworks.

Green Hive receives the Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service. 

Green Hive is a local community hub supporting people to turn their ideas for Nairnshire’s community and environment into reality through a wide range of activities, delivering products and services which benefit the people and places of Nairnshire.

Green Hive is one of 21 charities, social enterprises and voluntary groups in Scotland to receive the prestigious award this year. The number of nominations remains high year on year, showing that the voluntary sector is thriving and full of innovative ideas to make life better for those around them. 

The Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service aims to recognise outstanding work by volunteer groups to benefit their local communities. It was created in 2002 to celebrate the Queen’s Golden Jubilee. Recipients are announced each year on 2nd June, the anniversary of the Queen’s Coronation. Award winners this year are wonderfully diverse. They include volunteer groups from across the UK, including a community shop in Cornwall, an environmental group in Swansea, a group working with refugees and vulnerable people in Stirling and a thriving community arts centre in County Down. 

Representatives of Green Hive will receive the award from George Asher, Lord Lieutenant of Nairnshire later this summer. Furthermore, two volunteers from Green Hive will attend a garden party at Holyroodhouse in July 2021, along with other Scottish recipients of this year’s Award. 

Simon Noble, Green Hive’s Chair of trustees, says: “On behalf of all of our wonderful and committed volunteers I want to share our delight and pride that our hard work has been recognised with this prestigious award.  I believe in the power of volunteering to create positive and lasting change and pay tribute to every single volunteer who has supported Green Hive and those volunteers yet to join us as we strive to do more.”  

Since starting at Green Hive I have been supporting our staff and volunteer team to develop:

• A new Green Hive website capable of receiving donations

• Launching the first stage of our online Green Hive Shop

• A new ten-year business plan

• Adapting our much loved environmental activities into home-based Green Hive Starter kits

• Developing a series of Webinars starting with our Highland Ocean Plastics Webinar on June 12th

• Preparing and planning to pilot the re-opening of our plastics upcycling workshop.

Do please show your support for our Green Hive Volunteers by checking out any of the links, liking and sharing this post.  Thank you!

#21: My top ten life changing books which help you find solutions to the real problems in your life and work

I am a slow reader and often don’t finish a book I have started if it doesn’t quite capture me but every now and then a book comes along which resonates and I read it from cover to cover. Often these books have been given to me as gifts or have come recommended from coaches and mentors and those people I admire and respect. There have been books which have led me to give up jobs and start new ventures. Books which have provoked adventure and journeys into new lands and books which have encouraged a journey into self. Books which made me believe I can change the world and books which contain the clues and tips to try and do just that.

If you are finding more time for reading here is my Top Ten List of the books which have all been pivotal and life-changing at different stages in my work over the last 20 years (listed Chronologically):

The Tipping Point - how little things can make a big difference by Malcolm Gladwell

How to be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson

Now discover your Strengths - how to develop your talents and those of the people you manage by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

No regrets on Sunday - seven days can change your life by Dr Peter Hawkins

Wikinomics - how mass collaboration changes everything by Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams

Goal mapping - how to turn your dreams into realities by Brian Mayne

The four-hour workweek - escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich by Timothy Ferris

The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck - a counterintuitive approach to living a good life by Mark Manson

The 100-year life - living and working in the age of longevity by Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott

What colour is your parachute - A practical manual for job hunters and career changers (2017 edition) by Richard N. Bolles

Life-changing reading?

If you have one of the books above, go get it off the shelf, dust it off and think of someone in your life who needs this book. Send it to them with a personal note. Receiving gifted books can be life-changing. If you have not yet read all of these books then choose one, even if the title might put you off, read the reviews, get yourself the book and see where it takes you.

Happy reading - I wonder what books would make your top ten life-changing reads?

#20: Remembering travels around Peru

At the moment, travel of any sort, but particularly international travel, is a distant prospect at best. My daughter, aged 10, dreams of travelling the world - visiting the countries currently only available digitally during this worldwide lockdown. I very much hope she will be able to fulfil her dreams. Travel brings you randomly into contact with people, enables personal exploration of places and immerses you in cultures in a way that digital isn’t able to replace so attractively. There seems to me, no replacement for being there. At the weekend Suzi and I had a ‘dream’ camping trip in our back garden, imagining distant lands. Memories emerged of a very different time, a time nearly 20 years ago, when I was travelling around Peru. I share an excerpt here in case you, like me, are in need of some armchair inspiration for what your next journey may be, if and when the universe allows us to travel once more. By boat to Iquitos is an account of a river journey I made through the jungles of Peru in 2001. 

Vanessa at Iquitos

By boat to Iquitos

Tim and Agnes help me mount Vanessa. And it is more of a mount rather than a boarding as the metal cargo boat is still strewn with timber and rice waiting to be squeezed into the seemingly full cargo hold below. Timek and Agniewska are names that are too much of a mouthful for me and so they have become Tim and Agnes, which they seem happy with. It is interesting how people invariably want to shorten names. My brother is called Christian and the shortening of his name led to me being christened with the un-shortenable name of Neil. Tim and Agnes have managed to keep a space near to them but a Peruvian man asleep in his hammock separates me from them. Tim helps me bondage my beautiful rainbow hammock to the pipework and it turns out that the market stall man was right and had not ripped me off. I sit for the first time in my hammock sweating from the bustle and frantic rush to get here on time. Vanessa looks like she has had a hard life as her metal panels are covered with scratches and dents. She is stretched to bursting point with people all tying their hammocks to her pipework and finding space for their belongings where there seems to be none. Locals are selling virtually everything in huge buckets containing anything from toothpaste to watermelon. I buy a bowl and spoon as directed by the trader and add it to my food bag.

“Do you want to tie your backpack to ours?” Agnes asks. I look at their matching blue backpacks that are secured under chain and padlock to one of the uprights of the boat.

“I think it would be a good idea, it could easily get stolen,” says Tim.

“OK thanks,” and I tie the cords of my backpack to theirs, which would make removing it difficult. A wise precaution but not something I would have worried about straight away.

“We have found Peru to be quite a bad place for us,” starts Tim.

“Really?”

“Yes, we arrived at Lima airport and this man claiming to be undercover police asks us to go with him as there is much drugs and fake money in Peru.”

“Did you go with him?”

“Of course, in Poland when we were growing up if undercover police asked you to do anything you did it. So we went with him and he stole all our cash and left us halfway down the road from the airport.”

“Oh my God, what a nightmare.”

“Yes, it was not a nice introduction to Peru,” smiles Tim with a sense of humour about the whole event.

“Then we were in a restaurant and Tim put his camera down and turned for a few seconds and when he turned back it had been stolen.”

“They must have been watching you.”

“Yes I think so,” nods Agnes regretfully.

“The camera was very expensive and I had saved money for many months and had bought it from America,” says Tim still smiling.

“You have been very unlucky,” I say trying to console their losses.

“But Agniewska still has her camera so we are ok.” I look at her camera and it too looks expensive and an ideal stealable item. I am left feeling partly sorry for the Polish couple but cannot help thinking that they were asking for trouble flashing such expensive cameras about. It appears they have learnt a hard lesson.

“We are pretty full eh,” I say changing the subject.

“Yes, the captain says we leave at six,” says Tim.

“Six?”

“Yes, they are still loading the boat with cargo.”

“So I guess we relax and put our feet up for a bit,” I say laying back and swinging in my hammock. It feels great to swing, I have seen it done many times in films on TV but to swing in my own hammock aboard my riverboat to Iquitos feels great. We are squeezed in the length of the boat shoulder to shoulder and the motto seems to be: I swing you swing. So we all swing.

If you would like to read more about this two-month journey in Peru, you can read the rest of this chapter on My Medium blog or the whole book ‘From Dementia to Adventure’ which is available on the Books store on Google Play.

Happy armchair travelling - where will your next journey be?

#19: Knowing when it is over

Is the end nigh? Current times are characterised by great uncertainties, but don’t be tempted into inertia, being proactive can still make for a happy ending.

Are you unsure if your work, project, business or relationship is over? Take a moment to reflect back on a time when you knew something was over and when it finished. Perhaps you knew, deep down, it was over some time ahead of it actually ending? Or maybe the end came like a hammer blow totally out of the blue? By reflecting on previous endings you can be better prepared this time around.

I like running marathons. Well, to put it more accurately, I enjoy signing up for marathons and I like the finish line. There are numerous hours of hard training and hard miles in the race itself that, to be honest, I don’t always enjoy. The finish line of the marathon is a definitive endpoint. The vast majority of people who sign up to run the London Marathon do indeed finish, regardless of their fitness or training regime. Knowing there is an endpoint to reach, after which you can stop and collect a medal, is enough to keep people going. Whilst running marathons can teach you a lot about yourself, not all situations in work and life have the neat ending we sometimes crave. Often the finish line is frustratingly hidden in the fog of daily life. Understandably there are fears and worries about the impending change.

I was talking with a shop owner the other day, in a retail business on the high street. Her business, like many, is on hold because her customers need close personal contact and interaction before purchasing her products. We were talking about if and when she would re-open again. “I really don’t know if I will have a business to go back to”, she said. So like our friend, if you are contemplating whether something is reaching an end, or whether to put fresh energy into it, try these steps:

1. Sitting it out. Try sitting still, calming and quietening the mind. Probably best to do this outdoors if you can, perhaps in the garden or on a balcony, or if you have a view out of the window.
2. Pose the question. Ask yourself out loud “Is this over?” And wait for an answer to come. Many times, with hindsight, people did intuitively know when something was over. Listening to your inner voice and your own intuition is as good a guide as any in uncertain times.
3. Don’t wait, do something. Whilst it is tempting to wait for the answer to become clear to us, or a magical lottery-winning solution to emerge, don't give in to inertia and do nothing. Be hopeful but be proactive, for example, plan your future framework, clarify your purpose and set new goals.
4. Write down what you need right now and in the future. Write down what you want now and in the future. Pay special attention to anything on both lists.
5. Accept where you are right now. Remind yourself you are doing the best with the information you have to hand.

In a way, my marathons are never really over. As soon as I finish one, briefly pausing to look at the medal, I am planning the next one. I often sign up for another one on the same day as finishing the one I’ve just run.

Runners at the start of another London Marathon in 2019

Times change, new information presents itself, a relationship flourishes again when you thought it had burnt out and new projects and business ideas emerge where you couldn’t see them before.

To a degree, there is a sense that nothing is really over, forever. Just different at different times.

#18: Finding Joy

I find myself seeking delight. Many of the places, people and activities that were previously a source of great pleasure have become distant, beyond reach. But both in my work and in my home life there is much joy to be found, despite the search for joy needing to be more proactive at the moment.

Finding joy in…

The blackbird hopping along the wall, turning its head to look at me as I rise from my seat.

A member of staff completing her first fundraising application for much needed charitable funds.

Sheepview introducing me to a different view of the Faroe Islands.

The first broad beans poking and seemingly struggling to get their heavy heads above the soil line.

Trustees at a virtual board meeting putting personal difficulties aside to focus on how our charity can best help local people.

My Mum, who is shielding, taking part in a digital nature walk with Nature 4 Health.

Hot strong coffee with the full warm sun on my face under the blossoming cherry tree.

Charity funders loosening their restrictions and trusting charities to put money to the best use in our communities.

Google photos reminding me of a family canal trip in Cambridgeshire three years ago.


The more I look the more I find, believe in joy and you are halfway there...


Milk and beer appearing on my doorstep from a kind neighbour.

Seeing the whole street banging pots and pans on a Thursday night.

My daughter being top of the Klingon league on Duolingo.

My son building a BMX through home deliveries.

My wife baking bread and the waft of it through the house.

Zoom calls with charity leaders, fraught and exhausted, but still finding time to support one another, share information and offer emotional and practical support.

In spending time with hundreds of families living with dementia over the years I am reminded not of the dementia, but of the moments of joy. June in her garden smelling her flowers, after taking over an hour supporting her to get dressed to make the short shuffle outdoors. Brian and I laughing our heads off in the toilet as I was doing my best to assist him with the most personal of care tasks. John holding my hand and not letting go for over 5 long minutes as we both sat in silence, no need for words.

Joy is there in different guises. Isolation and exhaustion are defeated by it. Try and find some today.

#17: Quick to slow?

I guess I am a slow learner. It took me 17 years to learn to run slower. Pushing it, harder efforts faster-paced runs all seemed the likely answer to the question of how to run faster. It was in 2017 when I finally had the breakthrough with my running training, a year which resulted in me breaking my lifetime personal bests/personal records in every distance from mile to marathon. At the age of 43, I was running faster than at the age of 23. So what was the answer? Running slowly. But not just slowly, really slowly, so slow in fact that it was virtually walking pace. I had embarked on the MAF method, following in the footsteps of Dr Philip Maffetone and the many thousands he has coached and supported to be fitter and healthier. Part of this method involves running whilst keeping your heart rate low, which for me meant a lot of walking. I found this frustrating, not to be running fast, not to be out of breath, not to be exhausted at the end of the run. Running slowly kind of looked a bit awkward too with walkers keeping up with me on their route into town. But week in week out for months I stuck with it. I realised that I was becoming a more consistent runner, was injury-free and was healthy for an extended period. The boom and bust training cycles and associated injuries and illnesses had been replaced by higher mileage slower more effective endurance running. I had lost weight too as my body started burning fat reserves more effectively, which was a bonus. I started getting personal bests in the local parkrun, at the 5K distance, then the half marathon and marathon eventually. All the previous guidance on running faster was geared to just that if you want to run faster then... run fast. But, counterintuitively, the answer to learning to run fast, came from lots and lots of slow running. Running so slow you could identify stones on the beach, birds in the trees and join in conversation with dog walkers. My younger self would not have believed me, but by slowing down everything got easier and faster.

In these turbulent times, how quickly can you slow down? Do you find it easy or difficult operating at a slower pace? Slowing down can bring many benefits, but it often can’t be done in a week or two and we may need to stick with, and commit to keeping, a slower pace for a few months to begin to see the benefits. By slowing down we might just find a method to support us to cope with the challenges of now but also a method that will serve us and our planet well in the longer term. Try it, next time someone tentatively asks “How are you?” - tell them “I am slowing down” and see what emerges.

#16: How to live on less and still thrive after an income reduction

There have been two, self-imposed, periods in my working life in the past decade when our household income has dropped by about 50% overnight. Both have been associated with significant life choices and change of work direction, moving from secure jobs to starting something new. The first period was when we founded Dementia Adventure back in 2009 and the second was relocating to North East Scotland last year. The first time was when our kids were tiny, this time, not so much.

Maybe you have chosen to start up a social enterprise or have become self-employed in the last year? Maybe you have seen your wages reduced or even wiped out due to the current virus-crisis? The following tips are all things I have tried following a significant drop in income and are aimed at supporting you to live on less, still thrive and stay well.

1. Back-up: Identify who or what is your back-up? Knowing that someone or something is your back-up is often enough to get through your difficult times. Read my previous blog post on Back-Up and identify someone in your life and ask them - will you be my back-up?
2. No food: Well not completely of course, but there is some great evidence associated with intermittent fasting, longevity and physical inflammation reduction. It also helps with food cost reduction - if you’re fasting 2 days a week, it can mean a significant saving (small print - do check medical advice before embarking on any fasting programme).
3. Grow food: We have grown our own food for fifteen years now starting with basil on a window sill, tomato plants in pots and garlic in the small patch of ground in the yard behind our tiny terraced house. You can grow potatoes from seed to plate in about 10 weeks (lettuce in much less) and only need a bucket or container and the seed potatoes. Try cutting the ‘eyes’ out of your existing potatoes and planting these if you can't source seed potatoes at the moment. Growing and eating your own food can provide you with great taste, great nutrition whilst also giving you a green workout, saving you money and can be highly effective at alleviating low mood.
4. Slow food: Fast food deliveries are the fastest way to run out of money and often contribute to physical and mental ill-health, further worsening our peak stress situations. Growing to love oats for breakfast, baked potatoes for lunch and rice and beans or lentils for dinner are cheap staples that have sustained thousands of people for generations. Take your time to eat it too, savour each mouthful, putting your cutlery down - making your smaller meal last longer is another trick for eating less and costing you less.
5. Save to buy: my granddad would say, “put away the money for it each week for six months, and if you still want it after six months, then you can buy it” - often, of course, the thing I had thought I wanted, I no longer wanted by that point. Deferring buying those ‘must-haves’ is another cost reducer.
6. Monthly direct debits: Take a close look at all the regular monthly payments going out of your account and ruthlessly cancel everything except those critical to sustaining your situation. If you are locked in on a contract or have some other tie-in then speak to the provider about a payment holiday and temporarily suspend the payments. If you want or need to be more drastic cancel TV subscriptions and sell the TV and go back to the radio and books, sounds harsh but you might find you have more productive free time. 
7. Moments in nature: Nature is on our doorstep, is free, is ever-changing from one day to the next and can teach us a great deal about frugality, change and happiness. Find some food scraps for the birds, take a seat under a tree and listen to the sounds. Find some moments in nature every day and see how this can bring joy into your situation. Try keeping a nature diary or nature notes.
8. Keep a gratitude journal: Write down three things each day that you are thankful for. Such a simple thing to help you identify the positives relative to your situation.
9. Be ready to grab opportunities: Make time to update your CV, make a phone call to someone in your industry or in the work sector you would like to work in, or to someone you know and admire. Take a free online course, get yourself ready to grab the new work or income opportunity when it comes along. And it will!
10. Start an investment habit: One of the problems this crisis has really brought to light is the fact that so few people have any savings. It sounds counter-intuitive when you are struggling for money but try starting with saving pennies or pounds in a jar or rounding up payments online but cultivate a habit of saving and investing for when you do have more income again. Then when the next crisis happens, you’ll be better prepared. Premium bonds are a safe way of gambling without losing your money and there are many investment products on the market now which are accessible and accept very low entry points for new investors starting as little as £1. Compound interest is your friend so do try and leave the amount untouched until you have to access it. 

The list can go on and if you have lost a significant proportion of income recently making the change to living on less whilst still thriving can be very challenging but you can and will find a way that works for you. Engage with the finances, engage with the support offers available and pay attention to the things which bring you joy - and are free!  My joy yesterday came from this butterfly...

Nairn beach butterfly

#15: My Top Ten Tips for working from home

I first started working from home back in 2006 and can remember one early episode which sharply brought into focus the reality of the challenges that can present. My son Charlie was about a year and a half old at the time and couldn’t understand why his daddy was shutting himself away behind a door. I was on a phone call to the office with my new boss when the screaming started. “Is everything ok?” says my boss. “Yes fine, please ignore the screaming” I replied. “But he does sound very upset.” I had to abandon the call as the concerns, and the screaming, grew. My son was ok after a mummy cuddle, who was also working from home. So, if you now find yourself working from home and trying to cope with the children being kept off school and home from nursery, here are my top ten tips for home working.

1. Dress food feel good - Whilst it is tempting to have endless pyjama days in front of the pc, do try to avoid doing so. I remember my granddad who used to dress in a shirt and tie only to sit in his lounge with only family for visitors. Make a point of dressing well, so you can think well.
2. Get outside for 5 minutes - There is great evidence that just 5 minutes outdoors is enough to lift our mood. Start the day with a 5-minute dose of nature. Step onto your balcony or garden or get out into a green or blue space. Ask yourself “What do I notice?”. Become fascinated and immersed in nature for a few minutes. Repeat after lunch, gentle exercise after eating aiding digestion and at the end of the day, to help create a division between work and home time.
3. 45-minute work chunks - Set yourself a recurring alarm on your phone for 45 minutes. Attention dwindles significantly after this period and staring at a bright computer screen for prolonged periods is detrimental for your eyes too. When the alarm goes off just stop, don't ignore it. Get up and walk around, check your posture, do a few yoga stretches, trust that whatever you are working on will still be there when you sit back down again.
4. Do one thing - Set yourself one thing to do for the morning and one thing to do for the afternoon. For the multitaskers amongst us that might feel too easy but it is important, in the absence of an immediate physical team or boss, that you focus on the really important tasks which need doing. By doing that thing first in the morning you will feel better and form effective work habits.
5. Put things out of reach - It is all too easy to stay seated for extended periods of time, the negative health consequences of which are dire. I leave my stapler and hole puncher upstairs so that I have to go upstairs to go and get them. Getting some much-needed steps and stair exercise each time.
6. Develop a list of mantras - positive self- talk can be helpful to tackle the demon thoughts which might emerge when you are working alone at home. Develop your own mantras, short affirmations you can draw upon “I am great at this”...I can do this...the only way out is through...if you are going through hell, keep going.” 
7. Visualise a good day - when you sit down to start work visualise yourself at the end of the day with key productive tasks completed with satisfaction and ease. Imagining a positive outcome is the first step to that becoming a reality.
8. Spend time with the children or with the dog - there will be times when the children or your pet is demanding attention. Give them the attention, give them a hug, stroke the cat, give them your full attention for five minutes. Tell them you love them. It will make you both feel good.
9. Set up virtual coffee mornings - actively ask colleagues to join you for a video call for no other purpose but to catch up over coffee. Book these in your calendar so that you have regular social contact that would otherwise happen naturally in an office/team space. Actively invest time for social networking support.
10. Turn off the news - Whilst the news is a helpful source of updates during these challenging times, there is a good argument for limiting your access to the news whilst you are working. If you need to find something out about the latest developments you can do this at lunchtime or at the end of the day. Try phoning your parents and get their take on the news. Rationing and limiting your consumption of news will help focus, reduce distractions and help keep things in perspective. If you need some helpful background noise then instead of listening to the radio try peaceful music which is repetitive and calming such as Max Richter’s Sleep album, the RSPB’s Let Nature Sing put on repeat or Gregorian chanting for example. 

And finally, practice gratitude. Be thankful for being able to work from home, for having functioning IT to enable you to communicate easily with others from the safety of your living room, and be thankful for the health of your family. An attitude of gratitude will keep you open to the possibility of the positive - write down three things you are thankful for today.

Stay well and work well.

#14: Thinking of moving to a remote corner of Scotland?

When Lucy and I told our friends in Essex that we were relocating to North East Scotland the overwhelming response, aside from the initial positive pleasantries, was ‘You know it gets cold and dark up there in the winter don’t you?’ Since moving we have met many like-minded folk from England who have also made the best move of their lives. Now it appears that we may have just moved ‘ahead of the rush’ as more people start thinking about living a quieter, less frenetic life, characterised by community and outdoor activity and not filled by jobs and commuting. An outdoor life with family and others first. If you are thinking of moving to Scotland, I would say do it! But if you are needing a bit of guidance I thought it might be helpful to share our personal search criteria list for a family relocation to Scotland.

This time last year we made the trip from Essex to Aviemore and beyond to look at houses in the North East of Scotland. Our goal whilst on our house hunting holiday was to find a new family location and home which could house the four of us (Lucy and I, along with our two children, now 13 and 10) as well as my parents, as we looked to sell two houses in the south-east and buy a larger family home together in Scotland. The six of us sat down and drew up the following collective criteria for our new home:

1. Waterside, view of water from the property
2. Close to a park or green space
3. 5+ bedrooms (for our extended family: 4 adults and two children)
4. Downstairs bathroom and/or bedroom (if my parents might need it in the future)
5. Upstairs bathroom (and/or ensuites)
6. Two lounges downstairs
7. Large kitchen diner
8. Potential for two desk office space (for working from home if needed)
9. Garden with side/back access big enough to grow our own fruit and veg
10. Shed or wood store
11. Off-street parking for 2 cars
12. Sunroom/garden room
13. Solar panels or eco/energy-saving features
14. Conservatory
15. South or West facing orientation
16. Independent kitchen/space for Mum and Dad
17. Storage space/loft
18. Local clubs for swimming, cycling, running, sailing
19. Local pub (never really had a local pub, within walking distance before)
20. Local shops and amenities
21. Less than three miles to good schools
22. Local hospital, medical and social care if we need it (Mum and Dad have both had health scares)
23. Broadband and good mobile phone reception
24. Access to outdoor adventures
25. Access to a train station and bus station (so we are not reliant on the car)
26. Access to Inverness airport (for holidays and work trips in the UK).

The more we spoke about what we were looking for the longer the list grew until we had over 25 items on our list. In that week-long house hunting trip it quickly became obvious that Nairn ticked nearly all of our boxes. But it was the magnificent beaches that ultimately sold us on Nairn. 

The house we chose, in the end, didn’t have eco features, nor a downstairs bedroom and there wasn’t an independent kitchen for Mum and Dad but these could be added at a later stage if we wanted and needed them. But amazingly we found very much what we were looking for. There is a wonderful Scottish phrase we have often heard since ‘Whit’s fur ye’ll no go by ye!’ There may well have been a healthy dose of destiny in the mix too. 

If you are thinking, maybe because of Brexit or because of the recent global challenges, it is time to think about and plan a move to Scotland, rest assured there are many rural communities, like Nairn, who will welcome and support you and your family. Six months into our new location and with a new job starting tomorrow we have very much settled into life in our remote corner of Scotland. So make some time, sit down with your loved ones and draw up your criteria list - where would you love to live, how would you like to live, what would you like to be doing? Make your list and start looking at places on-line, book a house hunting trip and you might just surprise yourself at what you can find. Rural Scotland might just be the answer to your problems.