#29: Do you have a DNF or DNS this year?

Do you have unfinished business? Is there something not yet complete?  I am a finisher.  I like to complete a commitment.  Sometimes this trait has led me to push myself to unreasonable limits, going beyond, just for the feeling of finishing.  

In athletic parlance, a DNF is a ‘Did Not Finish.’  I have previously prided myself on always getting to the finish line in sporting events and always completing projects and things I do at work.  But this year, I have picked up a few DNFs, which would previously have bothered me.  For example, I have a DNF from the Diss Triathlon a few years ago, where multiple punctures meant I travelled to the finish line in the gloom of the broom wagon, a silent dark space in the back of a white van, with three other men in lycra who also should have known better. But this year, for obvious reasons, it is sometimes simply impossible to do what you set out to do.  I am practising letting go.  Does it really matter if the to-do list doesn’t get ticked off?  If something remains unfinished, is that such a bad thing?  Maybe there is a better time for this thing to be done, or a better person to do it.  Letting go can be liberation but it needs practice. Try it yourself and see if it works for you.  It’s OK not to achieve your goals, and if you are aiming high then there will be some things you have not hit, and maybe will not.

But a failure to finish is very different from a failure to start.  So, I picked up a DNS in last year’s Loch Ness Marathon.  Did Not Start.  I had been dreaming of running this marathon, tagged as one of the most scenic in the UK, for years.  Finally, I found myself living near the start and my dream event within reach.  A year of marathon training was thwarted by illness two days ahead of the race.  The 2020 race, of course, didn’t happen either, so I still have the DNS to my name for that event.  But I will eventually start that race.  In my work, there are a few more things yet to start.  I started Dementia Adventure, something I am very glad and proud of beginning.  There is a book or some more writing ahead of me in my next work phase, which I have yet to start.  Do you have something in your life you would like to start?  Looking back, do you wish you had started something years ago when you had the chance?  A DNS is very different from a DNF.  

Overall, it doesn’t really matter how many DNF and DNS you end up with in life so long as you have a winning track record.  Are you winning in life, winning in work?  Is there something you don’t need to finish?  Is there something you need to start?

Need it always be a mountain to climb?

#24: Streaking ahead: thoughts on daily repetition

Is there something that you do every day, without fail?  Every day?

A good friend of mine has had the same breakfast, day after day, for many years.  Steve Jobs was famous for wearing the same clothes and for daily repetition, particularly focused on removing unnecessary decisions - i.e. one less thing to worry about.  The prolific blogger Seth Godin publishes something every day and writes powerfully on the rationale and need for daily blogging and writing.  Looking back at my life it appears that I am a bit of a butterfly, attracted by the next flower.  Very rarely have I done the same thing day in day out, favouring instead the pursuit of variety and novelty.  But in recent weeks repetition of daily and weekly practices are slowly becoming the norm in my life.  Importantly, much to my surprise, I am noticing some significant benefits.

I started re-reading The Lydiard Way again about a month ago.  It is possibly one of the best running books ever written from one of the best running coaches.  The first time I read the book, about ten years ago when I got to the training schedules pages which recommended a 7 day a week running plan, even for beginners, I quietly shelved the book and carried on plodding around the fields three days a week. 

But with more time on my hands and having read the book again, I have started going out every day for a run.  I am only on day #22 of what runners describe as a ‘Streak’ - a term to describe running every day without fail, normally for one mile or more.  The most famous streak belongs to Ron Hill whose streak went on for pretty much a lifetime at 19,032 days!  But even at 22 days, I am already finding that my fitness has improved and mentally I am more robust as I know that each day, whatever happens, I will be able to get out and run.  I have had to make some adaptations like increasing yoga sessions, and stretching and massaging my legs in front of the TV, which can look a bit weird.  I have found that the cold water therapy associated with getting in the sea each week in North East Scotland is a perfect ice bath for reducing swollen muscles and joints from lots of mileage.  Rather than struggling to keep up the daily practice, which I previously felt would put too much pressure on myself to run, I now look forward to my run each day. You can follow me on Strava to see the gains I have made in the last three weeks.

It has got me thinking not only about our personal lives, sports and hobbies but the work we do.  Are there things in our work which are like the daily run?  Those tasks which are essentially good for us and good for our organisations but for whatever reason we procrastinate over or delay - possibly in favour of the shiny and bright new idea or novel way of working.  Big goals at work have to be broken down into smaller steps to make them more realistic and manageable.  What better way of achieving them than doing something small every day (a work equivalent to the daily mile) which moves you down the road towards your end goal?  

What could you do every day, that if you continued it day in day out, without fail would make you healthier and happier?  Maybe it is a daily walk or even just sitting outside for ten minutes before starting work.  Not only does daily repetition bring performance benefits, but it also takes away one more decision you need to make and keeps you on track towards living the life you really want.  I have been running 20 years now on and off and am really glad that I have started my running streak but wonder why I never did this before.

How can you streak ahead in life by doing the same thing every day?

#21: My top ten life changing books which help you find solutions to the real problems in your life and work

I am a slow reader and often don’t finish a book I have started if it doesn’t quite capture me but every now and then a book comes along which resonates and I read it from cover to cover. Often these books have been given to me as gifts or have come recommended from coaches and mentors and those people I admire and respect. There have been books which have led me to give up jobs and start new ventures. Books which have provoked adventure and journeys into new lands and books which have encouraged a journey into self. Books which made me believe I can change the world and books which contain the clues and tips to try and do just that.

If you are finding more time for reading here is my Top Ten List of the books which have all been pivotal and life-changing at different stages in my work over the last 20 years (listed Chronologically):

The Tipping Point - how little things can make a big difference by Malcolm Gladwell

How to be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson

Now discover your Strengths - how to develop your talents and those of the people you manage by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

No regrets on Sunday - seven days can change your life by Dr Peter Hawkins

Wikinomics - how mass collaboration changes everything by Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams

Goal mapping - how to turn your dreams into realities by Brian Mayne

The four-hour workweek - escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich by Timothy Ferris

The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck - a counterintuitive approach to living a good life by Mark Manson

The 100-year life - living and working in the age of longevity by Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott

What colour is your parachute - A practical manual for job hunters and career changers (2017 edition) by Richard N. Bolles

Life-changing reading?

If you have one of the books above, go get it off the shelf, dust it off and think of someone in your life who needs this book. Send it to them with a personal note. Receiving gifted books can be life-changing. If you have not yet read all of these books then choose one, even if the title might put you off, read the reviews, get yourself the book and see where it takes you.

Happy reading - I wonder what books would make your top ten life-changing reads?

#19: Knowing when it is over

Is the end nigh? Current times are characterised by great uncertainties, but don’t be tempted into inertia, being proactive can still make for a happy ending.

Are you unsure if your work, project, business or relationship is over? Take a moment to reflect back on a time when you knew something was over and when it finished. Perhaps you knew, deep down, it was over some time ahead of it actually ending? Or maybe the end came like a hammer blow totally out of the blue? By reflecting on previous endings you can be better prepared this time around.

I like running marathons. Well, to put it more accurately, I enjoy signing up for marathons and I like the finish line. There are numerous hours of hard training and hard miles in the race itself that, to be honest, I don’t always enjoy. The finish line of the marathon is a definitive endpoint. The vast majority of people who sign up to run the London Marathon do indeed finish, regardless of their fitness or training regime. Knowing there is an endpoint to reach, after which you can stop and collect a medal, is enough to keep people going. Whilst running marathons can teach you a lot about yourself, not all situations in work and life have the neat ending we sometimes crave. Often the finish line is frustratingly hidden in the fog of daily life. Understandably there are fears and worries about the impending change.

I was talking with a shop owner the other day, in a retail business on the high street. Her business, like many, is on hold because her customers need close personal contact and interaction before purchasing her products. We were talking about if and when she would re-open again. “I really don’t know if I will have a business to go back to”, she said. So like our friend, if you are contemplating whether something is reaching an end, or whether to put fresh energy into it, try these steps:

1. Sitting it out. Try sitting still, calming and quietening the mind. Probably best to do this outdoors if you can, perhaps in the garden or on a balcony, or if you have a view out of the window.
2. Pose the question. Ask yourself out loud “Is this over?” And wait for an answer to come. Many times, with hindsight, people did intuitively know when something was over. Listening to your inner voice and your own intuition is as good a guide as any in uncertain times.
3. Don’t wait, do something. Whilst it is tempting to wait for the answer to become clear to us, or a magical lottery-winning solution to emerge, don't give in to inertia and do nothing. Be hopeful but be proactive, for example, plan your future framework, clarify your purpose and set new goals.
4. Write down what you need right now and in the future. Write down what you want now and in the future. Pay special attention to anything on both lists.
5. Accept where you are right now. Remind yourself you are doing the best with the information you have to hand.

In a way, my marathons are never really over. As soon as I finish one, briefly pausing to look at the medal, I am planning the next one. I often sign up for another one on the same day as finishing the one I’ve just run.

Runners at the start of another London Marathon in 2019

Times change, new information presents itself, a relationship flourishes again when you thought it had burnt out and new projects and business ideas emerge where you couldn’t see them before.

To a degree, there is a sense that nothing is really over, forever. Just different at different times.

#18: Finding Joy

I find myself seeking delight. Many of the places, people and activities that were previously a source of great pleasure have become distant, beyond reach. But both in my work and in my home life there is much joy to be found, despite the search for joy needing to be more proactive at the moment.

Finding joy in…

The blackbird hopping along the wall, turning its head to look at me as I rise from my seat.

A member of staff completing her first fundraising application for much needed charitable funds.

Sheepview introducing me to a different view of the Faroe Islands.

The first broad beans poking and seemingly struggling to get their heavy heads above the soil line.

Trustees at a virtual board meeting putting personal difficulties aside to focus on how our charity can best help local people.

My Mum, who is shielding, taking part in a digital nature walk with Nature 4 Health.

Hot strong coffee with the full warm sun on my face under the blossoming cherry tree.

Charity funders loosening their restrictions and trusting charities to put money to the best use in our communities.

Google photos reminding me of a family canal trip in Cambridgeshire three years ago.


The more I look the more I find, believe in joy and you are halfway there...


Milk and beer appearing on my doorstep from a kind neighbour.

Seeing the whole street banging pots and pans on a Thursday night.

My daughter being top of the Klingon league on Duolingo.

My son building a BMX through home deliveries.

My wife baking bread and the waft of it through the house.

Zoom calls with charity leaders, fraught and exhausted, but still finding time to support one another, share information and offer emotional and practical support.

In spending time with hundreds of families living with dementia over the years I am reminded not of the dementia, but of the moments of joy. June in her garden smelling her flowers, after taking over an hour supporting her to get dressed to make the short shuffle outdoors. Brian and I laughing our heads off in the toilet as I was doing my best to assist him with the most personal of care tasks. John holding my hand and not letting go for over 5 long minutes as we both sat in silence, no need for words.

Joy is there in different guises. Isolation and exhaustion are defeated by it. Try and find some today.

#17: Quick to slow?

I guess I am a slow learner. It took me 17 years to learn to run slower. Pushing it, harder efforts faster-paced runs all seemed the likely answer to the question of how to run faster. It was in 2017 when I finally had the breakthrough with my running training, a year which resulted in me breaking my lifetime personal bests/personal records in every distance from mile to marathon. At the age of 43, I was running faster than at the age of 23. So what was the answer? Running slowly. But not just slowly, really slowly, so slow in fact that it was virtually walking pace. I had embarked on the MAF method, following in the footsteps of Dr Philip Maffetone and the many thousands he has coached and supported to be fitter and healthier. Part of this method involves running whilst keeping your heart rate low, which for me meant a lot of walking. I found this frustrating, not to be running fast, not to be out of breath, not to be exhausted at the end of the run. Running slowly kind of looked a bit awkward too with walkers keeping up with me on their route into town. But week in week out for months I stuck with it. I realised that I was becoming a more consistent runner, was injury-free and was healthy for an extended period. The boom and bust training cycles and associated injuries and illnesses had been replaced by higher mileage slower more effective endurance running. I had lost weight too as my body started burning fat reserves more effectively, which was a bonus. I started getting personal bests in the local parkrun, at the 5K distance, then the half marathon and marathon eventually. All the previous guidance on running faster was geared to just that if you want to run faster then... run fast. But, counterintuitively, the answer to learning to run fast, came from lots and lots of slow running. Running so slow you could identify stones on the beach, birds in the trees and join in conversation with dog walkers. My younger self would not have believed me, but by slowing down everything got easier and faster.

In these turbulent times, how quickly can you slow down? Do you find it easy or difficult operating at a slower pace? Slowing down can bring many benefits, but it often can’t be done in a week or two and we may need to stick with, and commit to keeping, a slower pace for a few months to begin to see the benefits. By slowing down we might just find a method to support us to cope with the challenges of now but also a method that will serve us and our planet well in the longer term. Try it, next time someone tentatively asks “How are you?” - tell them “I am slowing down” and see what emerges.

#16: How to live on less and still thrive after an income reduction

There have been two, self-imposed, periods in my working life in the past decade when our household income has dropped by about 50% overnight. Both have been associated with significant life choices and change of work direction, moving from secure jobs to starting something new. The first period was when we founded Dementia Adventure back in 2009 and the second was relocating to North East Scotland last year. The first time was when our kids were tiny, this time, not so much.

Maybe you have chosen to start up a social enterprise or have become self-employed in the last year? Maybe you have seen your wages reduced or even wiped out due to the current virus-crisis? The following tips are all things I have tried following a significant drop in income and are aimed at supporting you to live on less, still thrive and stay well.

1. Back-up: Identify who or what is your back-up? Knowing that someone or something is your back-up is often enough to get through your difficult times. Read my previous blog post on Back-Up and identify someone in your life and ask them - will you be my back-up?
2. No food: Well not completely of course, but there is some great evidence associated with intermittent fasting, longevity and physical inflammation reduction. It also helps with food cost reduction - if you’re fasting 2 days a week, it can mean a significant saving (small print - do check medical advice before embarking on any fasting programme).
3. Grow food: We have grown our own food for fifteen years now starting with basil on a window sill, tomato plants in pots and garlic in the small patch of ground in the yard behind our tiny terraced house. You can grow potatoes from seed to plate in about 10 weeks (lettuce in much less) and only need a bucket or container and the seed potatoes. Try cutting the ‘eyes’ out of your existing potatoes and planting these if you can't source seed potatoes at the moment. Growing and eating your own food can provide you with great taste, great nutrition whilst also giving you a green workout, saving you money and can be highly effective at alleviating low mood.
4. Slow food: Fast food deliveries are the fastest way to run out of money and often contribute to physical and mental ill-health, further worsening our peak stress situations. Growing to love oats for breakfast, baked potatoes for lunch and rice and beans or lentils for dinner are cheap staples that have sustained thousands of people for generations. Take your time to eat it too, savour each mouthful, putting your cutlery down - making your smaller meal last longer is another trick for eating less and costing you less.
5. Save to buy: my granddad would say, “put away the money for it each week for six months, and if you still want it after six months, then you can buy it” - often, of course, the thing I had thought I wanted, I no longer wanted by that point. Deferring buying those ‘must-haves’ is another cost reducer.
6. Monthly direct debits: Take a close look at all the regular monthly payments going out of your account and ruthlessly cancel everything except those critical to sustaining your situation. If you are locked in on a contract or have some other tie-in then speak to the provider about a payment holiday and temporarily suspend the payments. If you want or need to be more drastic cancel TV subscriptions and sell the TV and go back to the radio and books, sounds harsh but you might find you have more productive free time. 
7. Moments in nature: Nature is on our doorstep, is free, is ever-changing from one day to the next and can teach us a great deal about frugality, change and happiness. Find some food scraps for the birds, take a seat under a tree and listen to the sounds. Find some moments in nature every day and see how this can bring joy into your situation. Try keeping a nature diary or nature notes.
8. Keep a gratitude journal: Write down three things each day that you are thankful for. Such a simple thing to help you identify the positives relative to your situation.
9. Be ready to grab opportunities: Make time to update your CV, make a phone call to someone in your industry or in the work sector you would like to work in, or to someone you know and admire. Take a free online course, get yourself ready to grab the new work or income opportunity when it comes along. And it will!
10. Start an investment habit: One of the problems this crisis has really brought to light is the fact that so few people have any savings. It sounds counter-intuitive when you are struggling for money but try starting with saving pennies or pounds in a jar or rounding up payments online but cultivate a habit of saving and investing for when you do have more income again. Then when the next crisis happens, you’ll be better prepared. Premium bonds are a safe way of gambling without losing your money and there are many investment products on the market now which are accessible and accept very low entry points for new investors starting as little as £1. Compound interest is your friend so do try and leave the amount untouched until you have to access it. 

The list can go on and if you have lost a significant proportion of income recently making the change to living on less whilst still thriving can be very challenging but you can and will find a way that works for you. Engage with the finances, engage with the support offers available and pay attention to the things which bring you joy - and are free!  My joy yesterday came from this butterfly...

Nairn beach butterfly

#15: My Top Ten Tips for working from home

I first started working from home back in 2006 and can remember one early episode which sharply brought into focus the reality of the challenges that can present. My son Charlie was about a year and a half old at the time and couldn’t understand why his daddy was shutting himself away behind a door. I was on a phone call to the office with my new boss when the screaming started. “Is everything ok?” says my boss. “Yes fine, please ignore the screaming” I replied. “But he does sound very upset.” I had to abandon the call as the concerns, and the screaming, grew. My son was ok after a mummy cuddle, who was also working from home. So, if you now find yourself working from home and trying to cope with the children being kept off school and home from nursery, here are my top ten tips for home working.

1. Dress food feel good - Whilst it is tempting to have endless pyjama days in front of the pc, do try to avoid doing so. I remember my granddad who used to dress in a shirt and tie only to sit in his lounge with only family for visitors. Make a point of dressing well, so you can think well.
2. Get outside for 5 minutes - There is great evidence that just 5 minutes outdoors is enough to lift our mood. Start the day with a 5-minute dose of nature. Step onto your balcony or garden or get out into a green or blue space. Ask yourself “What do I notice?”. Become fascinated and immersed in nature for a few minutes. Repeat after lunch, gentle exercise after eating aiding digestion and at the end of the day, to help create a division between work and home time.
3. 45-minute work chunks - Set yourself a recurring alarm on your phone for 45 minutes. Attention dwindles significantly after this period and staring at a bright computer screen for prolonged periods is detrimental for your eyes too. When the alarm goes off just stop, don't ignore it. Get up and walk around, check your posture, do a few yoga stretches, trust that whatever you are working on will still be there when you sit back down again.
4. Do one thing - Set yourself one thing to do for the morning and one thing to do for the afternoon. For the multitaskers amongst us that might feel too easy but it is important, in the absence of an immediate physical team or boss, that you focus on the really important tasks which need doing. By doing that thing first in the morning you will feel better and form effective work habits.
5. Put things out of reach - It is all too easy to stay seated for extended periods of time, the negative health consequences of which are dire. I leave my stapler and hole puncher upstairs so that I have to go upstairs to go and get them. Getting some much-needed steps and stair exercise each time.
6. Develop a list of mantras - positive self- talk can be helpful to tackle the demon thoughts which might emerge when you are working alone at home. Develop your own mantras, short affirmations you can draw upon “I am great at this”...I can do this...the only way out is through...if you are going through hell, keep going.” 
7. Visualise a good day - when you sit down to start work visualise yourself at the end of the day with key productive tasks completed with satisfaction and ease. Imagining a positive outcome is the first step to that becoming a reality.
8. Spend time with the children or with the dog - there will be times when the children or your pet is demanding attention. Give them the attention, give them a hug, stroke the cat, give them your full attention for five minutes. Tell them you love them. It will make you both feel good.
9. Set up virtual coffee mornings - actively ask colleagues to join you for a video call for no other purpose but to catch up over coffee. Book these in your calendar so that you have regular social contact that would otherwise happen naturally in an office/team space. Actively invest time for social networking support.
10. Turn off the news - Whilst the news is a helpful source of updates during these challenging times, there is a good argument for limiting your access to the news whilst you are working. If you need to find something out about the latest developments you can do this at lunchtime or at the end of the day. Try phoning your parents and get their take on the news. Rationing and limiting your consumption of news will help focus, reduce distractions and help keep things in perspective. If you need some helpful background noise then instead of listening to the radio try peaceful music which is repetitive and calming such as Max Richter’s Sleep album, the RSPB’s Let Nature Sing put on repeat or Gregorian chanting for example. 

And finally, practice gratitude. Be thankful for being able to work from home, for having functioning IT to enable you to communicate easily with others from the safety of your living room, and be thankful for the health of your family. An attitude of gratitude will keep you open to the possibility of the positive - write down three things you are thankful for today.

Stay well and work well.

Lucky #13: New Charity Venture with Green Hive

Superstition is a rather strange thing but thirteens certainly do have an uncanny way of aligning with positive events in my life. This post brings the 4HQ blogroll to thirteen and I certainly hope this thirteenth post is auspicious because I am pleased to introduce you to my new charity venture as Manager with Green Hive.

The River Nairn to the hills and source beyond

About six months ago I wrote my Future Framework to check against in deciding what matters to me and in assessing the various work opportunities as they presented themselves in Scotland. The advert for Green Hive Manager post came out on Christmas eve in the local paper. As it turned out this could not have been a better gift. It neatly addressed my interests and passions for the environment, innovation and in social sector leadership. After the various application stages I am extremely pleased to have started with this amazing environmental charity based in Nairn. We have the vision to be a local exemplar taking action to address global environmental challenges. We are an inclusive, collaborative organisation which engages the local community in sustainable solutions to bring about a better life for the people and place of Nairn. The breadth of our Green Hive activities ranges from beach and river cleans to repurposing fabrics into bespoke bags and a brand new plastics upcycling workshop. We are just getting started with re-purposing what would otherwise be wasted into beautiful and functional items. Globally, there is a need to move beyond the evidence into action to help the environment thrive. The scale of the challenges can be daunting, but by focusing on what we can do in our local communities we can start to re-imagine a more positive future for all of us.

Do you have your Future Framework in place? Are you ready to seize the next opportunity which comes your way? What would your core interest be? What matters most to you in your next job? For me there is a joy in working locally, for the first time in years, and yet thinking globally. There is an element of time sovereignty in walking to work and not facing a train or car commute. Family and others first is another value which can be upheld in working locally to benefit the community which has so warmly welcomed my family and I. Jobs, now more than ever, can be re-designed flexibly to be home based but I think we will also see more jobs being locally based as we all rise to the environmental challenges in front of us.

The River Nairn out to sea

Since relocating to North East Scotland I have been developing a number of work related projects, call it a ‘portfolio’ or a ‘cocktail career’ - there is a precedent in these parts for people having more than one job and the wearing of many hats is commonplace. Delivering multiple projects requires an appetite for variety and efficient working practices to cope with all the juggling. I like juggling, but what I have learnt is that all these organisational/projects which are work related are all rubber balls - if you drop one in all likelihood they will bounce back. But your health and your family juggling balls are both ‘glass balls’ in that if you drop one of those, they can break. So making decisions about future opportunities has to keep these two balls in the air at all times, and ever be our focus. In the studies of people on their deathbeds, no-one says they wished they had worked more, many wished they had found more time for family and health giving activities. In getting started with Green Hive I am keeping this at the forefront of my mind.

#12: How to single task and bring a new focus to work

There seems to be a sense of complicitness about busyness. We must have 100 apps on our phones, 10 tabs open on our computers and time management systems to track how busy we are, with ever more complicated colour coded calendars keeping track of the sheer amount of work, hobbies, kids, life admin and all the associated events. How often have you been asked ‘how are you?’ only to answer ‘busy.’ Maybe for a moment, we can delude our egotistical self that we have left this encounter with more status than when we arrived. But telling people we are busy is really just telling the other person that we are unable to focus. But in a world where multi-tasking is both desired and seemingly required in more situations at work and at home how can we go back to one-thing-at-a-time or ‘single-tasking?’

Attitudes precede our habits. If we think that busyness will bring kudos then we may fill our time with repetitive reinforcing behaviours which soon become habits. But perhaps, upon waking in our beds, we can recognise our attitude and give ourselves a chance of changing our habits as soon as we wake. Instead of leaping out of bed and starting with the long busy task list ahead we can simply be in bed for a moment, perhaps a minute, listening to our breath, maybe looking out of the window.

Start the day with a positive question: If I were to do one thing today what would it be? What would be the most critical thing today? What would the one thing be that would bring me joy? What would be the one thing which helps someone else?

Reflection is something that need not take an hour, it can be a moment where we simply sit and ask ourselves a searching question. So, breathe, slow the breath, calm the mind, for a moment and ask yourself - What is my focus for today? Write it down, write one thing down for the morning and one for the afternoon. Turn off the phone, turn off as many other distractions as you can, put up a do not disturb notice if need be, turn off notifications, maybe turn off the computer and go use a pencil and paper. Get it done. Have a break, have lunch. Enjoy lunch. Go for a short walk. Repeat.

A helpful practice for supporting us to address the single task at hand is walking. Try walking a circular 10-minute loop, make it five minutes if you are pushed for time, but try and leave the building, get to some green space (even if it is a tiny pocket park or under a tree) and get some fresh air in your lungs and listen to the birds. 

Walking forces us to take a break, but regular walks are also the simplest thing we can do to break the serious consequences associated with long periods of time sitting down staring at a computer screen. Have you noticed your back aching, your eyes straining? Time for a walking break. Call it a ‘walkshop’ or a ‘walk and talk’ if anyone at work asks why you are heading out, call it ‘time to think’ - you will come back refreshed, the brain will have more oxygen and you will be more productive. But like the other tasks in our lives, focus on the simple act of walking, just walk, don’t set yourself a step goal, try to solve a problem or make a phone call whilst out walking. Use your time walking to practice the habit of single-tasking. Over time, busyness can be replaced with happiness, and being more focused on the important things in our lives can make us realise how much dross we spend our time worrying about.

Take these steps tomorrow and see how it feels to be absorbed in fewer more effective tasks giving them your full attention:

• Stay in bed for an extra minute - start with a change of attitude and give yourself a positive question: What am I going to do today that brings me joy?
• Do that thing - it doesn’t necessarily need to be added to a list, just do it, first chance you get
• Take a break
• Reward yourself with a walk outdoors somewhere in nature
• Ask yourself another positive question: What would be the most important thing to me today?
• Do that thing.
• Repeat.

Doing one or two important things really well each day may be one of the steps on the path to less stress at work and a happier home life.

#10: Finding solutions to problems

What is your number one problem at work? Let us imagine that this problem could be magically solved tomorrow. What would your next biggest problem be, and the third on the list? Are you really concentrating on the right problem? Maybe there is a problem that is at the top of your list but actually the second or third problem is, in reality, your biggest problem. Either way, finding solutions to problems can be difficult, should not be tackled alone and benefit from a diversity of perspectives.

Action Learning is a structured and facilitated peer-based approach to identifying problems, reflecting on them and resolving them. It takes place in a group, mostly between 6 and 12 people and can be done face to face or through video conferencing tools like Zoom. Action learning has a long track record in the UK and internationally, enabling people to find solutions to intractable problems and take the actions needed. It has been a key element in the success of the leaders who have been supported by the Clore Social Leadership Programme since its inception back in 2010. I am the Clore Social Leadership ‘chapter host’ for the North of Scotland and our group has Action Learning Sets embedded in our face to face and virtual meetings for members. In our most recent meeting, one of our members brought a ‘job interview problem’ to successful fruition and has a way forward with a new senior position. So how does it work, and why?

Problem insight

So think again, for a moment, about your biggest problem at work right now. With that problem painfully held in your mind, ask yourself the following questions:

Am I able to clearly articulate the problem to others?
Am I struggling with the ‘wrong’ problem?
How can I uncover other’s insights into this problem?

Often when an individual leader is asked to ‘present’ a problem succinctly to the group, what follows can be a less than coherent ramble. That is fine and perfectly normal, although sometimes it is to the surprise of the presenter who thought they were clear about it!

Problem resolution

It is important for leaders to have a safe space amongst peers, outwith their organisation, where they can safely air and share a problem for resolution. First of all, it is reassuring that your concerns and struggles are shared by others, some of whom have successfully addressed similar problems in the past. Secondly, each peer in the group will approach the resolution from a different viewpoint and you will come out of the group with suggestions and actions on practical ways forward for resolving this problem.

Problem-solving reflection

Time to think and reflect is a precious commodity. We hear about people being ‘time-poor’ and that ‘capacity’ is the issue. Action learning sets provide that important time and space to think out loud, to hear yourself talking about a problem amongst trusted peers. Maybe this is the first time you have had a chance to talk about the struggles that have been going on in your head for some time, maybe waking you up in the middle of the night? Being part of an action learning set requires commitment to the group and your peers but also to your own learning. Ultimately you are valuing yourself. Through action learning, you can find solutions to problems, but you can also be a better coach, mentor and buddy and learn to unlock excellence in yourself and in others. The concept of ‘rounds’ (turn-taking) gives people equal opportunity to talk, and the question and answer nature of the group builds your repertoire of ‘good questions’ to ask those who are struggling with a problem.

If you are already in an Action Learning Set then great - you are developing your skills and experience that will support you to resolve problems across your life. If you would like to know more about facilitation or finding an Action Learning Set then you can start here for more information.

#6: Don’t turn down Shame Lane

Have you found yourself in a group situation at work where you have experienced painful humiliation? Where you have inwardly felt the fool - often fuelled by inner self-persecution? I know I have. It may be in situations where you are perceived to be the person who ‘should know’ or worse still you are perceived by the group as the ‘expert'. Many people struggle alone with Shame because to deal with it we need to expose it, un-couple it, bring it to the fore and not ignore it. We need to choose a different road. Shame Lane brings us to a dead-end of burning, self-imposed ridicule. The simple act of choosing not to go down there anymore backed up by some positive self-talk can be a helpful starting place in addressing shame.

I am working on a few simple mantras which you can use/amend for your own needs:

“I am no longer going to attack myself”

“I am no longer going to berate myself in my head”

“I am no longer turning down Shame lane”

“I am doing my best”

“I am ok just here right now.”

Intellectualisation of the problem can help too:

“It's ok to have problems”

“It's ok to make mistakes, we all do.” I particularly like visualisation. Try this one:

Imagine ten green bottles representing the bottled up shame, ten green bottles sitting on the wall. Hey, you can even sing this one. One by one visualise them falling “and if one green bottle should accidentally fall” and then we might just learn to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and maybe even laugh at ourselves.

Much strength to you all in not turning down Shame Lane again.

#5: Backup: 2=1 and 1=0

Computers, aided by artificial intelligence, prompt and nudge us to "backup" our data, "backup" our photos and "free-up" our disk space. Afterwards the system can work faster and has more capacity to face user demand. If something was to fail you have a backstop, a place to go to for recovery.  Knowing that you have that backup is enough, even if you never need to use it.

But do you personally have a backup? Often we can be so busy ensuring our organisations and work is backed up that we have not thought through if there is any personal backup, for me. As leaders the "buck stops here" mentality can mean that we shoulder too many things whilst inadvertently increasing risk in our organisation. But who or what is your backup? If you collapsed or had to escape, down tools, even just for a month, who or what would back you up?  Have you found time to write down the myriad of systems, processes and tasks that exist in your head? Could someone else pick up your responsibility and tasks at short notice? 

The United States Navy SEALs have a famous saying "2 is 1 and 1 is none." In war scenarios backup is imperative. Someone always has your back, fully committed, ideally. You want to plan and deploy in pairs and teams to avoid conflict in isolation, limiting vulnerability. So in looking at your life and your work can you spot and eliminate the vulnerable positions where you currently have no fall back option, where you are isolated, when you are the only person who knows, and ultimately there is #nobackup?

Military units like the Navy SEALs and those teams facing acute crisis and conflict like the MET police know the power of backup (don't be like badcop). Backup is not just for your photos and mobile phone it could just save your organisation and free up your personal mental disk space to make that dream idea, that risky project happen, at long last.

Individually, collectively and organisationally we make better decisions when we know if "all goes wrong" then we can rely on our backup.  

Being a backup for someone else is possibly one of the least demanding but psychologically empowering things you can do. Chances are, that person won't want to need you, but knowing you are there is enough. Think about the people you know, pick the one who feels most vulnerable to you, tell them you are their backup, you are there for them.  

For more on this and it's links to preventing and treating depression carry on reading my blog post on Medium, below: 

“Preventing and treating depression in our older people — social change along the path of the…” by Neil Mapes https://link.medium.com/ChS5JYyAm2