Lucky #13: New Charity Venture with Green Hive

Superstition is a rather strange thing but thirteens certainly do have an uncanny way of aligning with positive events in my life. This post brings the 4HQ blogroll to thirteen and I certainly hope this thirteenth post is auspicious because I am pleased to introduce you to my new charity venture as Manager with Green Hive.

The River Nairn to the hills and source beyond

About six months ago I wrote my Future Framework to check against in deciding what matters to me and in assessing the various work opportunities as they presented themselves in Scotland. The advert for Green Hive Manager post came out on Christmas eve in the local paper. As it turned out this could not have been a better gift. It neatly addressed my interests and passions for the environment, innovation and in social sector leadership. After the various application stages I am extremely pleased to have started with this amazing environmental charity based in Nairn. We have the vision to be a local exemplar taking action to address global environmental challenges. We are an inclusive, collaborative organisation which engages the local community in sustainable solutions to bring about a better life for the people and place of Nairn. The breadth of our Green Hive activities ranges from beach and river cleans to repurposing fabrics into bespoke bags and a brand new plastics upcycling workshop. We are just getting started with re-purposing what would otherwise be wasted into beautiful and functional items. Globally, there is a need to move beyond the evidence into action to help the environment thrive. The scale of the challenges can be daunting, but by focusing on what we can do in our local communities we can start to re-imagine a more positive future for all of us.

Do you have your Future Framework in place? Are you ready to seize the next opportunity which comes your way? What would your core interest be? What matters most to you in your next job? For me there is a joy in working locally, for the first time in years, and yet thinking globally. There is an element of time sovereignty in walking to work and not facing a train or car commute. Family and others first is another value which can be upheld in working locally to benefit the community which has so warmly welcomed my family and I. Jobs, now more than ever, can be re-designed flexibly to be home based but I think we will also see more jobs being locally based as we all rise to the environmental challenges in front of us.

The River Nairn out to sea

Since relocating to North East Scotland I have been developing a number of work related projects, call it a ‘portfolio’ or a ‘cocktail career’ - there is a precedent in these parts for people having more than one job and the wearing of many hats is commonplace. Delivering multiple projects requires an appetite for variety and efficient working practices to cope with all the juggling. I like juggling, but what I have learnt is that all these organisational/projects which are work related are all rubber balls - if you drop one in all likelihood they will bounce back. But your health and your family juggling balls are both ‘glass balls’ in that if you drop one of those, they can break. So making decisions about future opportunities has to keep these two balls in the air at all times, and ever be our focus. In the studies of people on their deathbeds, no-one says they wished they had worked more, many wished they had found more time for family and health giving activities. In getting started with Green Hive I am keeping this at the forefront of my mind.

#12: How to single task and bring a new focus to work

There seems to be a sense of complicitness about busyness. We must have 100 apps on our phones, 10 tabs open on our computers and time management systems to track how busy we are, with ever more complicated colour coded calendars keeping track of the sheer amount of work, hobbies, kids, life admin and all the associated events. How often have you been asked ‘how are you?’ only to answer ‘busy.’ Maybe for a moment, we can delude our egotistical self that we have left this encounter with more status than when we arrived. But telling people we are busy is really just telling the other person that we are unable to focus. But in a world where multi-tasking is both desired and seemingly required in more situations at work and at home how can we go back to one-thing-at-a-time or ‘single-tasking?’

Attitudes precede our habits. If we think that busyness will bring kudos then we may fill our time with repetitive reinforcing behaviours which soon become habits. But perhaps, upon waking in our beds, we can recognise our attitude and give ourselves a chance of changing our habits as soon as we wake. Instead of leaping out of bed and starting with the long busy task list ahead we can simply be in bed for a moment, perhaps a minute, listening to our breath, maybe looking out of the window.

Start the day with a positive question: If I were to do one thing today what would it be? What would be the most critical thing today? What would the one thing be that would bring me joy? What would be the one thing which helps someone else?

Reflection is something that need not take an hour, it can be a moment where we simply sit and ask ourselves a searching question. So, breathe, slow the breath, calm the mind, for a moment and ask yourself - What is my focus for today? Write it down, write one thing down for the morning and one for the afternoon. Turn off the phone, turn off as many other distractions as you can, put up a do not disturb notice if need be, turn off notifications, maybe turn off the computer and go use a pencil and paper. Get it done. Have a break, have lunch. Enjoy lunch. Go for a short walk. Repeat.

A helpful practice for supporting us to address the single task at hand is walking. Try walking a circular 10-minute loop, make it five minutes if you are pushed for time, but try and leave the building, get to some green space (even if it is a tiny pocket park or under a tree) and get some fresh air in your lungs and listen to the birds. 

Walking forces us to take a break, but regular walks are also the simplest thing we can do to break the serious consequences associated with long periods of time sitting down staring at a computer screen. Have you noticed your back aching, your eyes straining? Time for a walking break. Call it a ‘walkshop’ or a ‘walk and talk’ if anyone at work asks why you are heading out, call it ‘time to think’ - you will come back refreshed, the brain will have more oxygen and you will be more productive. But like the other tasks in our lives, focus on the simple act of walking, just walk, don’t set yourself a step goal, try to solve a problem or make a phone call whilst out walking. Use your time walking to practice the habit of single-tasking. Over time, busyness can be replaced with happiness, and being more focused on the important things in our lives can make us realise how much dross we spend our time worrying about.

Take these steps tomorrow and see how it feels to be absorbed in fewer more effective tasks giving them your full attention:

• Stay in bed for an extra minute - start with a change of attitude and give yourself a positive question: What am I going to do today that brings me joy?
• Do that thing - it doesn’t necessarily need to be added to a list, just do it, first chance you get
• Take a break
• Reward yourself with a walk outdoors somewhere in nature
• Ask yourself another positive question: What would be the most important thing to me today?
• Do that thing.
• Repeat.

Doing one or two important things really well each day may be one of the steps on the path to less stress at work and a happier home life.

#11: Synthesis or Unite and be Mindful

I am fascinated by human interactions, the minutiae of life events, taking pleasure in the seemingly odd coincidences. I don't believe in coincidence by the way. I don't really believe in odd either. I believe that everyday life events present us with hints and guide us along our path if we are mindful enough to notice them. I am reminded of the Jose Gonzalez track Hints lyric: We need hints before we get tired...we need a hint to know we are on the right track. In my work with people with dementia, I am reminded of the image of a lampost in the fog. In the Highlands of Scotland by the Cairn on the hill in the mist.

I was at a friend's house in Edinburgh the other day, and just as we were leaving, front door open, she invited me to draw a 'power card' from the bowl of cards in the hall. More of these minuscule life hints happen in doorways and transition areas than other places in my experience. My card was Synthesis - to put together, combining things to make a whole. This came at the end of a week where I had been sitting in the Nairn courthouse contemplating St. Ninian’s motto blazoned on the wall, "Unite and be mindful”, a week where I hosted a Zoom meeting of consultants keen to come together, to combine our individual skills and strengths. To be more than the sum of our parts, for a greater whole. This same week where I have held mentoring conversations with leaders in Nairn, London and California about the need for togetherness, not separation, for collaboration, not isolation. Specifically where people living with dementia are concerned. It may not be easier together but it will be better together.

Your ideas, your project, your organisation might be wonderful, might be a game-changer. But the question is not how can you grow, how can you scale? The question is how can you combine? How can you join together to maximise impact? The synthesis you find may come from an unusual source.

Try keeping unity and union in mind in the next week and see how you can work better together, make something new.

#10: Finding solutions to problems

What is your number one problem at work? Let us imagine that this problem could be magically solved tomorrow. What would your next biggest problem be, and the third on the list? Are you really concentrating on the right problem? Maybe there is a problem that is at the top of your list but actually the second or third problem is, in reality, your biggest problem. Either way, finding solutions to problems can be difficult, should not be tackled alone and benefit from a diversity of perspectives.

Action Learning is a structured and facilitated peer-based approach to identifying problems, reflecting on them and resolving them. It takes place in a group, mostly between 6 and 12 people and can be done face to face or through video conferencing tools like Zoom. Action learning has a long track record in the UK and internationally, enabling people to find solutions to intractable problems and take the actions needed. It has been a key element in the success of the leaders who have been supported by the Clore Social Leadership Programme since its inception back in 2010. I am the Clore Social Leadership ‘chapter host’ for the North of Scotland and our group has Action Learning Sets embedded in our face to face and virtual meetings for members. In our most recent meeting, one of our members brought a ‘job interview problem’ to successful fruition and has a way forward with a new senior position. So how does it work, and why?

Problem insight

So think again, for a moment, about your biggest problem at work right now. With that problem painfully held in your mind, ask yourself the following questions:

Am I able to clearly articulate the problem to others?
Am I struggling with the ‘wrong’ problem?
How can I uncover other’s insights into this problem?

Often when an individual leader is asked to ‘present’ a problem succinctly to the group, what follows can be a less than coherent ramble. That is fine and perfectly normal, although sometimes it is to the surprise of the presenter who thought they were clear about it!

Problem resolution

It is important for leaders to have a safe space amongst peers, outwith their organisation, where they can safely air and share a problem for resolution. First of all, it is reassuring that your concerns and struggles are shared by others, some of whom have successfully addressed similar problems in the past. Secondly, each peer in the group will approach the resolution from a different viewpoint and you will come out of the group with suggestions and actions on practical ways forward for resolving this problem.

Problem-solving reflection

Time to think and reflect is a precious commodity. We hear about people being ‘time-poor’ and that ‘capacity’ is the issue. Action learning sets provide that important time and space to think out loud, to hear yourself talking about a problem amongst trusted peers. Maybe this is the first time you have had a chance to talk about the struggles that have been going on in your head for some time, maybe waking you up in the middle of the night? Being part of an action learning set requires commitment to the group and your peers but also to your own learning. Ultimately you are valuing yourself. Through action learning, you can find solutions to problems, but you can also be a better coach, mentor and buddy and learn to unlock excellence in yourself and in others. The concept of ‘rounds’ (turn-taking) gives people equal opportunity to talk, and the question and answer nature of the group builds your repertoire of ‘good questions’ to ask those who are struggling with a problem.

If you are already in an Action Learning Set then great - you are developing your skills and experience that will support you to resolve problems across your life. If you would like to know more about facilitation or finding an Action Learning Set then you can start here for more information.

#9: Finding the casino exit

Have you ever been to a casino? Maybe in Las Vegas, maybe Southend? If so, you may recall how hard it is to find the exit once you are in having a good time because casinos are carefully designed to keep you inside playing. As the Gamble Aware programme says, “When the fun stops, stop.” Maybe as January comes around again you have thought about new projects. Perhaps you have thought about stopping your current work and exiting your organisation. Finding the exit is not always that easy, especially if you are the founder and/or CEO. Organisations, like casinos, are designed to keep us playing.

Often we begin new projects, new jobs and new ventures with seemingly endless energy and ambition. Our last consideration is how we might exit them successfully in some distant imagined future. As social sector leaders, we are also ever mindful of leaving our organisations in a stronger position than when we started. At the start of 2019 Dementia Adventure (DA) began preparing for its 10th anniversary and I began formal discussions with the trustee board about succession planning and my departure from the charity I had co-founded with Lucy Harding back in 2009. As a founding CEO, I had long been conscious that organisations develop and change over time and that organisations, in my view, need different leaders at different stages in their evolution. I had often been referred to as the inspiring leader who had the ideas and energy to get the organisation started. But with increasing success came the reflection that it was the right time to look for a new leader for the organisation, consciously avoiding Founder Syndrome whilst enabling the charity to thrive and grow into the longer-term future. To continue the casino metaphor, I was looking for the exit whilst I was still having fun.

Around this time, I was very grateful to receive a Rank Foundation bursary which enabled me to secure some invaluable 1:1 leadership mentoring and coaching. As a CEO, my focus had been on growing the organisation and supporting the team and so support for me had been lacking at times. With such a critical recruitment of a new CEO to embark upon and with no clear job waiting for me upon my departure from the organisation guided time to think was critical for me personally. Having 1:1 time with a mentor or a coach can sometimes feel indulgent or navel-gazing but I think it is significantly underrated, particularly at times of change and transition.

The mentoring created much needed time out of the office, space and time to think, to discuss and to address any concerns the team had about the changes, as well as logistically plan the steps in the calendar as we embarked upon our transition year. Mentoring and coaching can provide a healthy dose of challenge, support and enable you to critically address the key decisions that needed to be made. In senior positions decision fatigue can be a real issue and so addressing the right decisions at the right time is very important.

For me personally, I stayed objectively distant from the recruitment process of the new DA CEO Vivienne Depledge but did actively engage with Vivienne at various events and meetings both prior to her starting and once in post. I have every faith that she is a perfect fit for the organisation and is already taking DA to another level as we aim to reach and benefit even more people living with dementia. I am confident that I handed over my CEO role and the organisation in the best possible position to thrive, and am proud to support DA in a voluntary honorary adviser capacity. Without key mentoring support at a crucial time, I am not sure this process would have been so smooth or so positive in its conclusion.

When considering the next steps in your future career it is very important to pay attention to the things you are naturally drawn to because they are often connected to your path, passion and purpose in life. A good leadership mentor or coach can help you focus on these things so your next steps are heading in the right direction.

Are you ready to stop and find an exit? Could you exit? If you could exit soon do you know where your path is heading? Where will your next adventure be?

#8: Little green (& black) books

Review and reflection can be a helpful thing.  Looking back at what you did in the last decade feels important.  Maybe you got married, got a new job, reached a sporting milestone?  But how many of us plan where we will be in ten years time? Putting in an equal amount of time in facing forward to the decade now in front of us is just as crucial.  Planning ten years from now - have you figured out your BeHaveDo?  

What will you be?

What will you have in your life?

What will you be doing?

Ten years is a long time, so be ambitious with your plans. Resolutions are not solutions, with many people running out of energy for their new year’s resolution by mid-January (the 19th apparently). But do review the past year in planning the next ten.




The little green book on the left in the photo above is the original ideas book for Dementia Adventure. I started writing ideas and future plans for Dementia Adventure back in 2005. I started sketching logos, writing down website domains, planning service costs/benefits and looking into marketing options and thinking about who could help me get this idea into reality. Looking back, my first mistake was not to start the organisation sooner, finally having the confidence to get underway in establishing Dementia Adventure in 2009. My second mistake was making it about me, not we. I personally invested a lot of my time, my family’s time and took on the responsibility which could have been better shared from the outset. Don’t try to do it all alone. Dementia Adventure quickly became more successful when there was a we and we made decisions together. By focusing on the cause and on others first, it also makes it more likely that you can make a successful future exit from your organisation, should you need or want to do so.

But over ten years down the line, many of the original ideas in that battered little green book have come into being, with Dementia Adventure now a thriving and successful charity giving people hope, joy and a sense of adventure in their lives. I am glad I started that little green book. Glad I started future-gazing.

In looking at the decade in front of you, ask yourself which people and causes give you ‘endless’ energy? In the search for meaning, try to start with We, not Me. It’s not about you, it’s about the impact we can have on the world. How can you join together, work together, be together with the people and causes which matter to you? Years ago, a lot of importance was placed on your ‘little black book’ - an address book of key contacts, your network literally in a black book which you carried and guarded. I would like to see more ‘little green books’ - books with ideas, books with sketches and dreams imagined and being nurtured to grow. By the way, it does need to be a real notebook in my opinion (virtual notebooks don’t create the same magic) because there is something important that happens in the brain by physically writing and drawing things down.

I have started a new little green book, the one on the right in the photo above. It came as a present from my mentor Ashley Cooke. My new little green book contains some brilliant questions and tools if you, like me, are looking at where you will be in 2030. If you have not already seen it check out my blog #5: Backup 2=1 and 1=0 for more on getting started with long term planning.

See you somewhere amazing in 2030!

#7: Big mountain small steps

Which way are you facing? Where are you heading? How long will it take to get there? 

These are three foundation questions for navigating in the mountains. But how often do we ask ourselves these questions about what we want in our lives? Time is a bendy thing, with a turn of our head a decade has passed and we ponder on “How did I come to be here?” By stopping, looking up and pointing ourselves in the right direction we can head towards our mountain on the horizon. We can achieve a great deal in life if we are focused on bringing about our long term life goals, “Scaling our mountains.” Maybe you have seen this mountain before, you have focused on this future life goal previously but it seems elusive off in the distance. You tell yourself you don’t feel ready to start the journey toward it. When will you be ready? Tomorrow? Next year? We don’t necessarily need lots of life coaching to know what we really want in life, we simply need to sit quietly and ask ourselves “Where am I heading?” Once we are facing in the right direction we simply need to take a step, a tiny step is fine, towards our mountain on the distant horizon. This small step forward might just be the biggest step in your life.

Is there a distant dream you have long coveted, long imagined for your future self? Do you have a mountain on your horizon? As the beginning of a new year approaches take a small step forward today. Enjoy the first steps on this new journey. First steps are exciting and satisfying when we know we are finally heading off in the right direction. I have had a quote re-emerge in my life at different times, the origins of which I am uncertain, which goes along the lines of “Try not to stumble over the rocks at your feet whilst eyeing the distant mountain.” I take this to mean that once underway trust you are on the right path and focus on the small actions which are needed daily. Step by step you will get there.

#6: Don’t turn down Shame Lane

Have you found yourself in a group situation at work where you have experienced painful humiliation? Where you have inwardly felt the fool - often fuelled by inner self-persecution? I know I have. It may be in situations where you are perceived to be the person who ‘should know’ or worse still you are perceived by the group as the ‘expert'. Many people struggle alone with Shame because to deal with it we need to expose it, un-couple it, bring it to the fore and not ignore it. We need to choose a different road. Shame Lane brings us to a dead-end of burning, self-imposed ridicule. The simple act of choosing not to go down there anymore backed up by some positive self-talk can be a helpful starting place in addressing shame.

I am working on a few simple mantras which you can use/amend for your own needs:

“I am no longer going to attack myself”

“I am no longer going to berate myself in my head”

“I am no longer turning down Shame lane”

“I am doing my best”

“I am ok just here right now.”

Intellectualisation of the problem can help too:

“It's ok to have problems”

“It's ok to make mistakes, we all do.” I particularly like visualisation. Try this one:

Imagine ten green bottles representing the bottled up shame, ten green bottles sitting on the wall. Hey, you can even sing this one. One by one visualise them falling “and if one green bottle should accidentally fall” and then we might just learn to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and maybe even laugh at ourselves.

Much strength to you all in not turning down Shame Lane again.

#5: Backup: 2=1 and 1=0

Computers, aided by artificial intelligence, prompt and nudge us to "backup" our data, "backup" our photos and "free-up" our disk space. Afterwards the system can work faster and has more capacity to face user demand. If something was to fail you have a backstop, a place to go to for recovery.  Knowing that you have that backup is enough, even if you never need to use it.

But do you personally have a backup? Often we can be so busy ensuring our organisations and work is backed up that we have not thought through if there is any personal backup, for me. As leaders the "buck stops here" mentality can mean that we shoulder too many things whilst inadvertently increasing risk in our organisation. But who or what is your backup? If you collapsed or had to escape, down tools, even just for a month, who or what would back you up?  Have you found time to write down the myriad of systems, processes and tasks that exist in your head? Could someone else pick up your responsibility and tasks at short notice? 

The United States Navy SEALs have a famous saying "2 is 1 and 1 is none." In war scenarios backup is imperative. Someone always has your back, fully committed, ideally. You want to plan and deploy in pairs and teams to avoid conflict in isolation, limiting vulnerability. So in looking at your life and your work can you spot and eliminate the vulnerable positions where you currently have no fall back option, where you are isolated, when you are the only person who knows, and ultimately there is #nobackup?

Military units like the Navy SEALs and those teams facing acute crisis and conflict like the MET police know the power of backup (don't be like badcop). Backup is not just for your photos and mobile phone it could just save your organisation and free up your personal mental disk space to make that dream idea, that risky project happen, at long last.

Individually, collectively and organisationally we make better decisions when we know if "all goes wrong" then we can rely on our backup.  

Being a backup for someone else is possibly one of the least demanding but psychologically empowering things you can do. Chances are, that person won't want to need you, but knowing you are there is enough. Think about the people you know, pick the one who feels most vulnerable to you, tell them you are their backup, you are there for them.  

For more on this and it's links to preventing and treating depression carry on reading my blog post on Medium, below: 

“Preventing and treating depression in our older people — social change along the path of the…” by Neil Mapes https://link.medium.com/ChS5JYyAm2

#4: Why is humanity like a baby? To the Power of No

Suzi, my beautiful 9-year-old, sitting at the table eating breakfast, turns to me amongst mouthfuls of Weetabix...

“Daddy, you know humanity is like a baby.”

“Really, how?”

“Humanity gets everything it wants. It needs a parent to say no to it.”

Boom.

Wisdom is clearly not age-related. I am starting to believe that children are secret Zen masters sent to teach us worldly wisdom. If only we could stop and listen, their ideas would change, could save, the world. I wonder how many years it will be before Suzi is Prime Minister.

Saying no. Do you struggle with it? Seems like many of us do.

How many times have you said, “Yes, ok”? The clue in that response is the word, ok, indicating that this particular project is not high up on your passion project list. And of course, you subsequently find out later that this new project is a major drag on your time and energy. It is probably a 20% project in motivation terms but is taking up 80% of your time and mental effort. See Pareto’s law for more on this, being aware of other 80/20 calculations really can make a big difference to your life.

If you find yourself saying “Yes, ok then” or “Yes, all right” or “Yes, why not” then here are three strategies for you.

Name the fear
Often “Yes ok” decisions are based within our fundamental, and irrational, fears. Many of us have a tendency to overestimate the likelihood of something bad happening and we underestimate the time it can take for good things to emerge. Pessimism and impatience rob our better selves and chain us to pain. Tim Ferris has written and published powerful materials on the importance of fear setting and in “defining, preventing and repairing,” see how fear setting works here.

Take the 30-day delay challenge
Just by the simple act of waiting, we can regain control. By putting in place a strategy to bypass our impulsiveness we can “buy” ourselves crucial time. If we resist the urge to say yes, wait and then assess this opportunity, at least overnight, we increase our chances of success. But don’t just sleep on it, ask yourself, ask your dream genie, before you go to bed “How does this opportunity take me towards my life goals, my dream projects?” And see what answer you have the next day.

Start by having a No ‘day’, if that is too hard then make it a No half-day, or No just at work, or just out on the next shopping trip. Feeling ambitious? Make it a No weekend or a No week. You may find that going without is freeing, albeit challenging at first. After a bit of practice, you can then progress to the 30-day challenge.

Take a 30-day delay challenge. Let’s say you want the shiny new shoes or trainers. You have the money. It’s an easy yes, right? But what if you divide the cost of the trainers by 30, and direct that daily amount into a savings account, or use a real old fashioned piggy bank just for fun. If after 30 days you still want the trainers then it might still be yes, but you’ve given yourself the chance to assess it against your life goals. If one of your goals is, for example, to reduce clutter, to consume less, be more generous, be kinder to others then you may find yourself donating your old trainers to charities who can redirect them to people who really need shoes. And you just saved some money as a bonus. Try it, you might be surprised how it can help you make better decisions.

Set short term and long term goals with goal mapping
Once you have unstuck yourself with the fear setting exercise and then have a strategy for avoiding impulsive decisions, which are sometimes costly, you are ready to set your future framework. Opportunities, ideas and decisions come along all the time and in order to assess which ones to say “Yes, definitely” to and which ones to say no to you need a framework, a source of reference and context.

• What are your personal core values e.g. Integrity, Flexibility, Freedom
• What situations get you excited?
• What subjects do you enjoy learning about?
• What do you find easy that other people struggle with?
• What do you love doing that also helps others?
• What is your purpose?

Try setting short-term, medium-term and long-term goals using Brian Mayne’s goal mapping. Thousands of people have used this simple, drawing based tool to change their lives for the better and I have recently completed a 9-month goal map for my relocation to Northern Scotland.  Scroll down to see the goal map which was on my wall for 9 months.

Summary

Saying no has a positive multiplier effect - “to the power” of you. We, humanity, people & planet, collectively need to consume less. Reduction starts by withdrawing, reducing our wants and is inherently embedded in the simple Power of No. Saying no is not easy. We need strategies to combat our impulses, face our fears and outwit the incredibly clever marketeers. Try it today, no qualifiers, apologies or explanations. Be kind, just a polite and grateful “No, thank you.” If you want more on No, there is some wonderful research and writing on this topic, some of it Nobel peace prize-winning (#DanielKahneman).

I look deeply at Suzi, who has now moved on to Marmite on toast. I hope humanity will be just fine and who knows, Suzi might just be Prime Minister one day.

If you like my writing you will find longer articles here Neil Mapes - Medium.